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I couldn't find my little ring stitch counter thing so I threw this together

Only after did I realize it would have been easier to just write something for my computer, but this is definitely cooler looking
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i've gotta program something soon...
#my posts#gets computer science degree#proceeds to do no programming for 4 months#i have like a few programming ideas but starting things is hard#i want to play with godot more it seems fun#i should probably also learn C++ for job reasons since i want to get into lower level/embedded stuff and only know C and rust#i guess the problem there is i'd have to like come up with a project to learn it with#preferably something lower level#maybe finally do that make your own file system project i skipped?#or like something with compression and parsing file formats#that's all pretty involved though so something like playing with godot would probably be better to get myself back in the programming mood#some sort of silly 2d game probably#i've had thoughts of making a silly little yume nikki-like for my friends to play that could be fun#or just any silly little game for just my friends idk#starting with gamemaker kinda made using other game engines a bit weird for me#so getting used to how more normal game engines work would probably be useful#i also want to mess with 3d games that seems fun too#but see the problem with all of this is that i suck at starting projects#and am even worse at actually finishing them#well i guess we'll see what happens?#also hi if you read all of this lol
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frontend development is so confusing to me sdggsfgdf how can people do this for a living
i could read a thousand pages of embedded manuals and understand everything but literally anything to do with frontend development leaves me with a hydra of questions, answering one question will make me question like five other things
#programming#rust#coding#software engineering#c#c++#software#html#css#js#ts#html5#html css#frontenddevelopment#front end development#embedded
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WHITE COAT, RED HANDS
pairing: chishiya x top male reader
content warnings: 18+, chishiya is a sociopath, hearts game, major character death, blood, ftm chishiya, oral (reader receiving), p in v, general AIB warnings.
word count: 2.4k
You meet Chishiya in a game called “Karma.”
No one knows the full rules until they’re already inside — typical of the Borderlands. You only know three things when you walk into the rust-colored warehouse where it’s held: the game’s a Hearts suit, it’s for pairs, and you’re stuck with the blond guy who’s barely said a word since you got scanned in.
“Looks like we’re partners,” you say, offering a hand.
Chishiya glances at it, then at you. “Lucky me.”
His voice is flat, clinical. Doesn’t take the handshake.
You drop your hand. “You a doctor or something?”
“Used to be.” He keeps walking, hands in his pockets like this is an errand he’s annoyed to be running.
There’s something unreadable in his expression — or maybe that’s just his face. He’s got this quality like he’s always three steps ahead, but can’t be bothered to tell you what’s coming. The kind of guy who might let you drown just to see how long you could hold your breath.
You follow anyway.
Because there are only two kinds of people left in this world: the ones you can use, and the ones who’ll use you first. And you’ve learned the hard way it’s better to be close to the former — even if they look like the latter.
“Cool,” you mutter under your breath. “Stuck with the cryptic type.”
“Better than the loud type,” Chishiya replies dryly.
You glance at him. “You always this charming, Doc?”
He twitches an eyebrow. Just one. “Only when I like someone.”
That makes you laugh, unexpectedly. “So I’m fucked, then.”
He looks at you, slow and sideways. “Not yet.”
Then he keeps walking, as if he hadn’t just said that.
You hate the way that line stays with you.
The warehouse door slams shut behind you both with the kind of finality that makes your stomach tense. A countdown lights up on the far wall in blood red:- 00:59:59. One hour. No instructions.
You both scan the room — crates, high catwalks, and a flickering overhead light that casts shadows like they’re watching.
“I hate Hearts games,” you mutter.
Chishiya hums. “People usually do.”
You shoot him a look. “You sound like you’ve played more than a few.”
He doesn’t deny it. Just wanders toward the nearest crate and pops it open like this is a casual scavenger hunt.
Inside: two vests. Black, fitted. One for each of you. You pick one up and notice the red LED embedded in the chest and shaped like a heart.
“Not ominous at all,” you say.
Chishiya’s already sliding his on. It hugs him close, snug around the ribs. You try not to stare, but he catches you anyway.
“Like what you see, or just trying to figure out where to stab me later?” he asks, voice too casual.
“Can’t it be both?”
That earns a small smirk. Not quite a smile, but the kind of curve at the edge of his mouth that feels like a reward. You kind of hate that it makes your pulse jump.
Once you both suit up, the LED lights flicker to life. Yours flashes red. So does his. Then a metallic clunk echoes from above, and a screen buzzes on.
“Welcome to Karma.”
The voice is male, modulated, and void of any emotion.
“You and your partner share a life. Your hearts are linked. One dies, both die.”
A pause.
“But to win… only one may remain.”
You look at Chishiya. He’s unreadable again. As if he didn’t just hear a death sentence wrapped in a riddle.
“The game begins now.”
Then the lights go out.
You draw your knife on instinct.
Somewhere in the dark, Chishiya says softly, “This part’s always fun.”
Your voice drops. “You know how to win this, don’t you?”
A long pause. Then:
“I might.”
That makes your grip tighten. “Planning to share with the class, or are you just gonna play puppeteer until it’s convenient to let me die?”
There’s movement. A footstep behind you. You spin — knife raised — and feel a hand close around your wrist, steady but not aggressive.
“I’m not going to let you die,” he says in that same flat voice. “Yet.”
“Yet,” you echo.
The light flickers on for a heartbeat. Long enough to see his face close to yours, half-shadowed. Then dark again.
“You’re enjoying this,” you murmur.
His hand slips from your wrist. “You’d be surprised how few people are fun in the dark.”
You move in silence for a while. The kind that pricks your skin because it’s not truly silent — the warehouse breathes. Vents rattle. Metal ticks. A slow, mechanical hum pulses beneath your feet like a heartbeat that isn’t yours.
Chishiya doesn’t seem affected. He walks beside you like he’s on his morning commute. Calm. Controlled. The picture of someone who doesn’t flinch even when the building itself feels like it’s watching you.
You glance over. “How the hell are you this calm?”
“I’m used to being hunted.”
The way he says it — flat, without ego — should sound like bullshit. But you believe him.
“And you’re a doctor?” you ask.
“Was.” He pauses. “Still am, technically.”
“Right. Doctor of hearts, huh?”
That gets a proper smirk. Just a flicker. “Clever.”
You snort. “You know, most people don’t look smug after admitting to possible homicide.”
“I didn’t admit anything.”
You’re about to respond — some sarcastic quip already loaded — when the warehouse shifts. The floor jolts with a loud hiss, and metal walls snap up from the ground, boxing you into a corridor that didn’t exist two seconds ago.
“What the—?”
“Maze,” Chishiya mutters, already walking ahead. “Figures.”
“Wait—” You grab his shoulder instinctively. He stops. Looks down at your hand. Doesn’t pull away.
His gaze lifts slowly. “You don’t trust me.”
“No,” you say. “I don’t.”
He tilts his head. “But you want to.”
That shuts you up for a beat. The hum beneath the floor ticks louder. Red lights blink at the corners of the ceiling.
“You gonna tell me what you meant earlier?” you ask. “About not letting me die yet.”
“I mean exactly that,” Chishiya says, voice soft but cold. “I need you. For now.”
You laugh once, low and bitter. “You’ve got a real way with words, doc.”
His eyes flick to yours again. “You’re still here.”
You don’t have a response for that.
The next corridor is narrower. Walls dripping with condensation. Your shoulder brushes his once, twice, until neither of you bother stepping aside anymore. It’s stupid — the smallest contact — but it feeds something between you. A tension that feels almost like a test.
“You’re not afraid of dying, are you?” you say.
“No.” Chishiya’s gaze is forward, steady. “I’ve made peace with it.”
“And killing someone else?”
His eyes flick sideways. “That’s not the question you want to ask.”
“…What’s the question, then?”
“You want to know if I’d kill you.”
You swallow. “Would you?”
He stops. Turns to face you in the dim corridor. The blinking red lights give his face a flicker—soft, then sharp.
“If I said no,” he says, “you’d be stupid to believe me.”
Then he leans in just enough that you feel his breath, calm and infuriatingly even. “But if I said yes... I think you’d still follow me.”
Your heart thuds, traitorous and loud. You don’t know if it’s fear or want or both.
You mutter, “You always this cryptic with people you plan to backstab?”
“Only the ones I like.”
Your jaw clenches. “You’re insufferable.”
“I know.”
You lean a little closer — not thinking, just moving on instinct now — and mutter, “Do you always flirt in murder mazes?”
His gaze drops to your mouth. “Only with idiots who flirt back.”
Then his hand grabs the front of your vest and drags you forward, not gently. Your back slams against the wall, and his mouth crashes into yours.
It’s not romantic. It’s rough and hot and too fucking much — all the tension, the danger, the push and pull of not knowing who’ll betray who — and it unravels in seconds. His tongue parts your lips without hesitation. You groan into it, hands gripping his hips because it’s the only part of him you can grab that doesn’t feel like a trap.
Chishiya’s kiss is strategic and brutal. Not gentle. He bites your bottom lip and pulls just enough to make your cock twitch in your pants. Your hips rock forward, involuntarily, and he smirks against your mouth like he expected it.
“You’re really hard,” he murmurs, low and flat in your ear. “Impressive.”
“You’re really fucking annoying,” you breathe.
“And yet, you want me to keep going.”
He drops to his knees.
He’s on his knees like he’s done it before. Like it’s second nature. No hesitation, no reverence — just a methodical slide of fingers to your waistband, popping the button open with practised ease.
You watch him through shallow breaths. One hand braced to the wall behind you, the other twitching with the urge to grab his hair. But he’s not looking up at you for permission.
He’s looking at your cock. And when he pulls it out, already hard and leaking at the tip, he hums — a quiet, pleased sound, like you’ve passed another one of his secret tests.
“No complaints,” he murmurs, almost to himself.
Your chest rises with something between pride and disbelief. “You always do this with people you might kill?”
Chishiya glances up then, eyes half-lidded. “No. You’re special.”
Then he licks a slow stripe from the base of your cock to the tip.
Your breath stutters. Your head tilts back and hits the wall with a dull thunk.
His tongue is warm, deliberate, not rushed. He wraps his lips around the head and takes you into his mouth in slow, steady inches. His hands are cold on your thighs, anchoring you as he sucks you in deeper — not messy or desperate. Just efficient. Intentional. Like he’s cataloguing every sound you make.
“F–fuck, doc…”
His lashes flutter at the nickname. His throat tightens around you as he swallows a little deeper, and your fingers tangle in his hair without thinking. He doesn’t stop you. Doesn’t fight the grip. If anything, he leans into it. Uses it to go deeper.
He sets a brutal pace after that — not fast, but intense. Hollowing his cheeks, flicking his tongue under the head, teasing and then swallowing you whole again. Your knees buckle once, and he presses harder into your thighs to steady you, like he knew it would happen.
“Shit—Chishiya, I’m—”
He hums again, sending vibrations through you just as you come, heat spilling down his throat. He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t break eye contact. Just swallows like it’s nothing and pulls back slowly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
You sag against the wall, heart pounding, still trying to catch your breath.
You’re still panting when he stands, wiping the corner of his mouth like nothing happened. Like your orgasm was a minor detour.
But there’s a flush in his cheeks now. A flicker of something in his eyes.
Want.
You spot it the second he pushes you back against the wall again, fingers ghosting along your jaw. “Can you keep going?” he asks, low, almost clinical.
You snort, a breathless sound. “You kidding?”
Chishiya doesn’t smile, but there’s the barest twitch in his mouth. He steps in and kisses you, finally, open-mouthed and quiet, tasting faintly of you. It’s softer than you expect. Almost gentle. But it only lasts a beat before he turns, and without a word, walks toward one of the crates behind him.
You watch as he shrugs off his hoodie and shirt, tossing them over the metal edge. And when his pants go next, what’s left between his thighs leaves no questions. There’s a harness strapped tight to his hips, black and minimalist, but you can see it clearly when he turns and walks back to you, slick already glistening between his folds.
You blink.
He tilts his head. “Problem?”
You step forward without a word, grab his hips, and kiss him again.
He presses into you without hesitation, one hand finding your cock and guiding it between his legs. He’s wet—hot, and when you slide into him, he exhales slowly through his nose, like he’s trying to maintain control.
“Fuck—” you mutter, grounding a hand on his lower back. “You’re soaked.”
“Of course,” he says. “You’re the first person who’s made it this far.”
You want to ask what he means by that. But then he tightens around you, rolling his hips with expert precision, and your brain short-circuits.
The rhythm is fast, deliberate, but not frantic. You pin him to the wall now, bodies flushed, your cock buried inside him as he works you with movements that feel almost mechanical in how precise they are. Every grind pulls a sharp gasp from your lips. Every twist of his hips feels calculated — like he’s memorised exactly what it takes to keep you right on the edge.
He lets you manhandle him. He lets you bite at his neck, groan against his ear. But he doesn’t moan. He doesn’t beg. He just watches you, eyes half-lidded, expression unreadable — like he’s processing your every reaction, filing it away for future use.
You grab his thighs and lift him. He wraps his legs around you easily, arms hooking behind your neck. You fuck up into him harder now, slamming into that wet heat over and over, the lewd sounds of skin and slick echoing off the walls.
He finally gasps — one sharp, ragged breath that punches from his lungs — and that’s what undoes you. You curse, burying your face into his shoulder as you come deep inside him, warmth flooding his cunt, your whole body twitching as you ride it out.
Your grip on him tightens.
You don’t even feel the knife slide in.
It’s only when your breath catches in your throat, sharp and wrong, that you realise what happened. Blood fills your mouth. Your legs falter. You both sink to the floor.
He stays straddled over you, cock still inside him, as your body collapses beneath his. His chest rises and falls evenly. His hands are warm against your jaw as your vision starts to fade.
“I wanted to wait until after,” he murmurs.
You gurgle something. His face softens.
“I wasn’t lying. It felt good.”
Your blood is everywhere now — on his hands, his stomach, pooling beneath your spine.
He leans down and kisses you again.
Soft. Warm. Almost apologetic.
“Only one survivor.”
And then he slips off your lap and rises to his feet, walking toward the blinking green light at the end of the hall. The blade, slick with your blood, swings loosely in one hand.
GAME CLEAR.

Taglist: @zolass @edensrose @tamias-wrld @ilovesugurugeto69 @planetxella @mazettns @longlivegojo @midnight-138 @literallyrousseau @vimademedoitt @useless-n-clueless @flatl1n3 @hikaurbae @lexkou @razefxylorf @abrielletargaryen @coco-145 @eagleeyedbitch @deathofacupid @gayaristocrat @porcalinecunt @whatsaheartxx @thecringes2000 @sageofspades @g4vcat @itsrandompersonyall @blvdprn @blueemochii @sappychat @onyxxxxqq @axetivev @s1llygo0s3 @crazydirectioner2000-blog @thestarsallowed @honey-valentin3 @academiq @gaozorous-rex-blog @idkmissgurl @seomn
© carnalcrows on tumblr. Please do not steal my works as I spend time, and I take genuine effort to do them.
#alice in borderland x male reader#chishiya x male reader#top male reader#male reader#x reader#smut#gay#x male reader#alice in borderland#aib imagines#shuntaro chishiya x reader#chishiya alice in borderland#shuntaro chishiya#chishiya#aib chishiya#chishiya x y/n#chishiya x reader#chishiya imagine#chishiya x you#chishiya smut#chishiya fanfic#chishiya shuntaro#chishiya angst#dom male reader
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Currit in Sanguine Nostra
pt. 2
cw: vampirehunter!sukuna x vampire!reader, dubcon, enemies to...enemies with benefits (??), blood obviously (blood drinking, bleeding, blood as lube), violence/fighting/gore/graphic descriptions of injuries, sadism/masochism, forced starvation, captivity, bondage (usage of muzzles/chains), knifeplay, wounding/cutting, degradation, feet stuff (reader humps his foot), humiliation, mild voyeurism wc: 12k a/n: this was so long i decided to just split it into parts :3 also i imagine sukuna to look like this in this fic
songs i listened to while writing this part
snarler - craig wedren, anna waronker
teeth - lady gaga
your addiction - night club
the wretched (remix) - nine inch nails
The first ever encounter with each other — that fight was brutal, messy.
Sloppy.
It was nearly midnight, in a long abandoned warehouse district at the outskirts of the city that Sukuna had tracked you into. Once bustling with activity, now a ghost town of rusting metal and crumbling brick.
The warehouse buildings have collapsed partially, some with entire walls missing, leaving jagged edges and exposed beams of twisted metal. Old rotten crates and broken machinery litter the ground, shards of shattered glass glinting in the faint, cold pools of light — flickering streetlights and and the occasional neon sign of an abandoned convenience store.
The place feels like a fun house in a fair, long warped shadows stretching over the debris.
And under the rain that falls in thick sheets, pouring relentlessly and drowning out the sound, you and Sukuna fight like wild animals.
None of the precision, the careful strategy or finesse one would perhaps expect from the final heirs of two ancient bloodlines—one born to hunt, the other born to feed.
Supposedly this feud started as far back as the Heian Era, possibly even longer. But none of that matters right now.
Right now you are just two inexperienced predators trying to kill each other.
You underestimated him—just another silly human, you thought. Hiding behind metal weapons, barking empty threats.
But you're the vampire. He’s the human - he should be prey.
And yet, Ryomen Sukuna is anything but.
Even in his own inexperience he’s a natural at what he’s supposed to be, making up for the lack of night vision with other senses that have been trained to compensate instead, keen enough that they could rival a vampire’s. He doesn’t need to see too well when he can rely on his hearing, on his quick reflexes, even his nose.
The rain proves to be a disadvantage as well, making the ground too slippery for you to effectively bolt at high speeds.
And soon the ground is splattered red, slick not just with rain.
Your fight was so primal, almost delirious in its intensity, that no words were even shared — just snarling and screaming and grunting and the thrashing of bodies and squelching of torn flesh.
Finally the deciding moment has come, where Sukuna pins you to the ground, thinking he has you. Broken glass cuts into your back, embedding itself into the skin, through the gaps of your already shredded top.
You’re no stranger to pain, though it does enrage you all the more.
So you fight dirty, spitting and digging your clawed nails across his face, that visceral yet satisfying feeling when you feel the nails, still filthy with the blood of your last kill, piercing into the soft, delicate flesh of his right eye.
The feeling could only be described as…gelatinous.
Sukuna’s agonized roar is instant, the pain blinding and white-hot. Blood runs down his face, and the smell of it that’s been teasing you all night, invites you to finally bare your fangs, ready to go for the killing bite.
But even with his right eye useless, Sukuna refuses to let go of his weapon, and when he catches the glint of your teeth, without thinking his blade is shoved into your mouth, pushing down on the hilt to plunge it upwards.
At the same time you reflexively bite down with all the strength left in your jaw — only to feel the sickening crack of bone breaking against steel.
It feels like you’ve bitten into broken glass.
With a strangled cry you shove him off, stumbling to your feet immediately as he gets to his knees, blood still gushing from his ruined eye, grabbing his weapon.
Your tongue flicks over the jagged remnants of your fang, that empty space where the tooth used to be, the iron of your own cold blood coating your mouth.
You limp back into the shadows as he staggers to his feet.
It’s only later when you’re sitting at the bar of a high-end nightclub, still absentmindedly running your tongue over the now healed stump of your left canine, you process that fight.
Born to an old, dwindling vampire bloodline, you were raised in secrecy, always moving place to place to avoid hunters. The traditional legends of aristocratic vampires always made you scoff — you and your family who had lived like ghosts, hiding in abandoned buildings, remote villages, or underground.
Despite it you were taught pride in your lineage — reminded that vampires are superior to humans, that they should never beg, never bow.
If a vampire “asks” something of a human, it’s not really a question.
Perhaps this was the reason you’d grown to have a taste for the luxuries of the modern age, hanging around neon lights and penthouses, carrying yourself with quiet arrogance. Though it’s an confidence born from survival, not entitlement.
You must believe you’re above humans, for your survival.
You’d heard of Sukuna before, known for years that he was supposedly your enemy by blood alone, but you hadn’t really given much more thought to it, especially not after your parents were murdered.
You were raised that in a world that wanted you dead, sentimentality was not an option — not even to mourn losses.
You were taught only to keep moving forward.
So that’s what you did when you found them with stakes driven through their hearts, limbs already turning to ash. Perhaps their deaths didn’t shatter you because they never let you believe they’d always be there in the first place.
Their battles didn’t particularly concern you, and you had better things to do than go on some drawn out hunt for revenge, and to avenge your family.
Well, that was before.
Because after that encounter, you decided nothing else mattered except Ryomen Sukuna.
A few months later, you feel more confident this time around that you’ll be able to kill him. And you don’t know for sure, but you have a strong feeling that he’s been tracking you as you roam city to city.
Sukuna’s learned a few things about you — that you enjoy cities, particularly those with good nightlife. Clearly a preference since your kind won’t necessarily burn in the sun, or anything as dramatic as the human stories always make it out to be.
Rather you all tend to be allergic to sunlight, some more than others. Your photosensitivity is noticeable, but not the worst — nothing more than some itchy hives and sneezing. Sometimes you get watery eyes and a runny nose too. It really just passes off as a normal pollen allergy.
On the other hand, you’ve picked up a few things about Sukuna as well — most notably so far that there are two things that matter to him above all: his ego and pride.
You suppose that conspicuous injury you gifted him might almost be as humiliating as your own chipped fang.
Almost.
Nothing can compare to the offense of breaking a vampire’s fangs. You’ve grown a habit of hiding them now even when around others like you, just so they won’t notice it.
And eye isn’t quite enough payment for that, you think.
So you arrange a trap, meticulously leaving a deliberate trail of blood and bodies to mark your presence, obvious enough for him to follow but still vague to the point that’ll keep him guessing. The trail leads to somewhere that’s sort of unusual for you — the countryside, far from the city, to a large sprawling mansion.
It’s a bit rundown, sort of the middle of nowhere, and likely abandoned some years ago.
Perfect.
You don’t have to wait long, only till the second night when he arrives.
The second round begins rather…slow.
Sukuna enters the mansion and though nothing has shifted out of place, he can feel it — your presence, permeating the atmosphere. You stand on the upper floor that overlooks the main entrance, watching him from the shadows.
It’s dark, even the moon is just a sliver of a crescent in the night sky, hardly enough to offer him any light.
You can see perfectly fine, though.
Sukuna can sense your gaze on him from somewhere in the pools of darkness, but he doesn’t react, preferring to let you guess whether he knows you’re here or not.
And you pick up what he’s trying but frankly you just can’t help yourself.
“Looking for someone?”
He doesn’t turn but you can see him smile in the dark, showing off those perfect set of teeth.
Annoying.
“Are you hiding from someone?”
You scoff.
Hiding. He’s trying to agitate you on purpose.
And it won’t work.
“Maybe I just like to play with my food.”
He hums. And then—
So quickly that you barely have time to dodge, something slices through the air.
The silver bullet buries into the drywall right where your head was a second ago.
Sukuna just laughs. “Oops. I guess I like to…play with my food, too.”
You’re honestly impressed by how good his aim is, even with his right eye socket scarred over.
But you’d never admit that, so you just chuckle lightly. “Well if you want me, you’re gonna have to work for it.”
And so it begins.
He hunts you through every hallway, every corridor, every shadow-drenched corner of the mansion. You circle one another—silent, stalking, both knowing one wrong step could mean the end.
You try to bait out another shot. A few, even.
Nothing.
Either he’s toying with you, or he’s saving them. Maybe both.
Frustrating.
And when long enough passes with no sound of his revolver, desperation creeps in.
So you take the risk. A deep inhale and a sharp turn—stepping fully into view, right across the hall from him.
Silence.
His hand rests on the trigger, steady, but he doesn’t pull it. Doesn’t even flinch.
You grit your teeth, muscles tensed, wondering if you can close the distance before he fires when suddenly, he smirks.
And lowers the fucking gun before rolling his eye.
The gall of this man.
“That’s the best you’ve got? Trying to jump scare me?”
You stare at him venomously, and though he can’t see it too well in the dark he can feel your disdain practically radiating from you.
“I could kill you right now before you could even do anything. But that feels kinda cheap, doesn’t it?”
“You’re welcome to try,” he says amicably. Then his eye glints, widening with a sudden thought, and he grins like he’s just remembered something delightful. “Oh- wait! I've got something to show you, almost forgot…”
He pulls out the silver chain tucked into his shirt, and at the end of it, something catches your eye.
White, and pointed…
Your fang.
You look up at him, momentarily speechless as his grin widens and he holds your tooth between his fingers like it’s some trinket. “Took it as a little souvenir to, you know…remember you.”
Needless to say, you are fucking livid.
“You disgusting bastard,” you hiss, synapses firing as rage floods them.
And just like that you’re across the hall in half a second, lunging towards him in your blind fury.
“You PIECE OF SHIT, I’LL RIP YOUR OTHER EYE OUT AND FUCKING EAT IT—”
You’re fast, and you’re strong. And Sukuna knows how to use this against you.
Instead of meeting you head on he pivots just in time, grabbing your wrist so that your own momentum sends you crashing into the dusty wooden floor. You’re back on your feet instantly, but then a flash of silver, and hot, searing pain in your side.
It spreads across your skin, numbing and tingling, and you start to feel sick.
Because of course a silver blade wasn’t enough, the bastard had to lace the tip with wolfsbane.
It’s not deep enough to kill, but definitely enough to slow you.
You snarl, still trying to throw him off, but Sukuna once again twists your momentum, forcing you into a corner.
This is bad. Now there’s nowhere to dodge, nowhere to effectively use your speed.
You lunge again, aiming for his throat this time, but either he’s faster than you expected, or the poison’s slowed you down.
There’s a crack and powerful kick sweeps your legs right out from under you, and just like that you’re on your back, his weight pinning you down, one hand wrapped around your throat.
Sukuna’s eye is burning with excitement, as he looks down at you triumphantly, panting slightly.
“That was fun. Wanna go again, or are you gonna pout now?”
You try to break free, but his other hand comes up — only now you realize it’s gloved. You don’t have time to think before he presses it to your jaw, holding you in place, and the pain flares from his touch.
Silver-lined gloves.
You hiss, though the poison is taking its toll on your body and your cold skin is now clammy, chest rising and falling with rapid breaths.
He laughs, leaning down slightly at your lips curled back in ferocity, eyes slitted as you try to jerk your face away from him in vain. His grip only tightens making your flesh burn, a pathetic cry clawing out of your throat.
“Careful, sweetheart.” The bare hand comes up to your lips as he holds your face in place, thumb brushing over it to pull your top lip back, inspecting your broken canine with interest. “You keep baring those pretty little fangs at me, and I might just have to take the other for my collection.”
You tremble with rage only contained in your flesh because of this incapacitating toxin invading your body. If not for that wolfbane—
“I’ll kill you, I’ll fucking murder you and you know what? I won’t even eat you, I’ll just leave your body to fucking rot in the dirt—” you sneer your promise, fingers twitching at your sides.
He looks down at you condescendingly, like you’re a petulant child throwing a tantrum that only entertains him. “That’s the look. Keep that anger — it looks real good on you.”
That’s the last thing you hear before another sting to your side of a syringe plunging into your skin, before you pass out.
When you come to a few hours later, cold, shivering, and throwing up — he’s nowhere to be seen.
The game stretches on over the next two years— you, with your chipped fang and him, with the scarred-over hollow where his right eye used to be.
Despite the damage, neither of you falters. If anything, the wounds only sharpen your instincts. Refine your roles.
The hunt evolves���more complex, more elusive… more intimate.
Along the way, more of your kind fall to him and Sukuna earns a name. Whispers trail in his wake, rumours thick and grotesque of one of the most brutal vampire hunters of the century.
A man who doesn’t just kill—but lingers.
Draws it out, torments.
Vampires captured and kept alive, tortured until boredom finally drives him to end it.
Every one one of them have been found with their left fangs broken off and missing.
And your resentment festers.
How ironic—his reputation, his rise, all built on traits borrowed from the very monsters he claims to despise.
Cunning. Patience. Sadism. A thirst for blood too, just not human blood. That, perhaps, is the only line he hasn't yet crossed.
You? You’re no innocent - far from it. But at least you never pretend to be anything other than what you are.
Your trail is just as red, just as damning.
But your victims? Almost always men.
From nameless beggars to powerful CEOs that send media and authorities into a frenzy— Their throats, torn open, their arteries drained.
And always—always—their right eyes, gouged out.
The floor is cold against your cheek—slick with dirt and blood. You're sprawled out, face-down, cheek mashed to the concrete beneath the unyielding press of his boot. Your wrists burn where the silver chain bites into them, pinned behind your back.
You should’ve known better - you did know better.
After years of sensing him at the edges of your life—always watching, always circling, he vanished.
No signs, no whispers, nothing.
The absence felt like a blade hollowing you out from within.
You told yourself someone else must’ve gotten to him. But of course, that wouldn’t do.
He was yours, yours to chase, yours to kill.
So you hunted him down this time, tracking him like prey.
This one’s on you.
You should have been suspicious when you found him waiting in a warehouse that looked eerily similar to the first one you ever fought in.
Except this one is brighter.
Bright fluorescent lights hum overhead, too white and clinical. Even with your eyes shut, the glare bleeds through your lids, stabbing at your pupils.
Every nerve in your body is lit up with pain, every inch of you aches and throbs.
“I’m starting to think you like being under me. Is that it?”
His taunting voice comes from somewhere above you.
“Just fucking kill me already, will you?” you grumble, words muffled against the ground.
“Hmm… I don’t know.”
The pressure of his boot lifts from your skull—only to be replaced by his knee, driven mercilessly into the small of your back.
You're pinned, caged.
“I kinda like seeing you like this,” he murmurs, voice dipping with lazy amusement. “Helpless. Right where I want you. So many things I could do with you…”
You can’t see him, but the smugness in his tone tells you everything. That fucking smirk is absolutely there.
Your laugh comes sharp and bitter. “God, you’re disgusting.”
“Oh, I must be,” he replies easily, “if even a bloodsucker’s saying it.”
You just scoff.
He leans in close, voice dropping to something low and velvety. “Can’t wait to spend some quality time with you…”
And then something hard cracks into your temple, with a sickening crunch followed by a split second of agony, before your vision tilts again and once more everything goes black.
You figure it’s been a few days at least, by the time you wake up. No human would survive the type of brain damage he no doubt inflicted on you when he literally split your skull open.
But you’re not a human, you’re a vampire — albeit something like that is still a serious enough injury that instead of seconds or minutes, it takes days for your body to repair the delicate tissues of your brain.
You’re still a bit dizzy and disoriented as you blink, clearing the fog from your mind while assessing your environment.
It’s a cellar or basement of some sort. A dim bulb flickers at the other end, on the verge of giving out.
The second thing you notice is something on your face — tight leather straps digging into your skin, a cage or barrier of some kind bound over your mouth.
The bastard fucking muzzled you.
Immediately you scream his name in rage — or at least you try to, though the metal cage distorts your sounds and all you produce is, “Hh-kuh-na!”
You try to move but your arms are still bound tightly behind you, aching from the position they’ve been kept in for so long, The cuffs are not silver, you note.
But the shackle around your ankle? That one is — and you quickly learn that when you try to unfold your legs, the metal digging into your skin and burning.
Soon enough you hear a door open and the sound of heavy footsteps.
“Finally awake? Thought I hit you too hard for a second.”
Your snarl of his name is once again muffled, but the scathing hatred in your eyes speaks volumes.
Sukuna steps in, closing the door behind him before crouching down with his hands on his knees, to be at your face level.
“Hmm, what was that?” he coos. “Try again. Really put your heart into it.”
You’re already feeling on edge, restless and tired at the same time, but then you smell it—
The sharp metallic scent of blood.
Just a little, but enough for your eyes to dilate and your body to scream at you, reminding you that you’re hungry.
Three days of intense healing, and no blood.
But you force yourself to sit still, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you struggle.
“When I get out here….” Your voice is hoarse, but venomous all the same. “I will kill you.”
“Hah,” he snorts. “Bold statement for someone who can’t even stand up.”
He crouches fully now, getting dangerously close. You jerk back instinctively but the sharp bite of the silver shackle digging into your ankle makes you grit your teeth in pain, reminding you why that’s a mistake.
Sukuna watches, single eye gleaming before he leans in further, fingers grazing along the leather strap securing the muscle.
“You look adorable like this.” He pauses, grinning when your eyes narrow further, smoldering with anger. “Almost tame.”
You catch another whiff of it — warm, rich, fresh — and your tongue coats itself in saliva. But you dig your nails into your palms, taking a breath, forcing yourself to stay grounded and shoot him a smirk, speaking slow and sharp.
“Take off this muzzle and you’ll see just how tame I am.”
He just chuckles and with that slight movement you catch the scent of his blood again.
Torture.
You can’t help your eyes from darting around, trying to see where the source is coming from. Sukuna catches your gaze drifting downwards, toward the wrist covered by his sleeve.
“Oh? You’re already looking? Thought you’d last a bit longer.”
And just to rub it in your fucking face he rolls his sleeve up, dangling his cut wrist right in front of your muzzled mouth. The blood drips slowly, deliberately trickling down.
Instinctively your head snaps up, fangs baring as you once again try in a futile effort the lunge forward, and rewarded with the same burning in your skin.
“Fuck. You.”
He leans in, voice dropping to a murmur as you intently track the blood droplets sliding down his skin. “You sure you don’t want any? You look a bit…hungry.”
Your lips widen into a cold sneer behind the metal cage. “I’d rather die of hunger than drink a drop of your filthy, vile blood.”
He stares at you for a moment, before calmly sighing and standing up to leave again. “Better get comfortable, then. This might take a while.”
And once again you’re left in the dark, with nothing but hunger gnawing at your insides.
The cruel irony of it all is that yes, you’d much rather die of hunger— but you can’t.
Instead you’ll starve, slowly desiccating till you’re barely conscious, but alive all the same. Forever in a perpetual state of never ending hunger.
There will be no death to release you.
Over the course of the next four days you feel yourself withering — hunger chewing and growling from within you, so cold that it feels like even your bones are chilly.
And tired. So, so tired.
You hear his footsteps from time to time outside the door, vaguely wondering if he’ll open the door. He never does.
By the time he comes back, your limbs are leaden, mind hazy. The hunger is no longer an ache, as it is a roaring void, tearing at you from inside.
You barely flinch when the door creaks open again, head lifting slightly towards the sound, though your body makes no effort to move.
“Still alive? Tough little thing, aren’t you?”
As if you could die even if you wanted to.
You don’t offer any response, not even able to muster enough energy to glare at him. He steps closer, slowly, like he’s approaching a carcass.
“Not much fight left in you now, huh?”
He crouches again, watching you with interest. You’re alive, but barely.
And finally you move — just a small twitch of your fingers, and a sharp inhale like you want to say something, but don’t have the energy to get the words out.
Sukuna doesn’t let up. “Go on. Curse me. Say you’ll kill me again. Give me something.”
Nothing. Even in your weakened state, you have enough pride to not give him that.
If a reaction is what he wants, it’s what he won’t get.
He clicks his tongue in annoyance before tilting his head. “No? Then how about I give you something instead?”
There’s a soft ripping noise, like a band-aid being torn off, when the scent hits you.
Blood.
Your body shudders involuntarily, once again you’re digging your nails into your palms until they’re sure to leave crescent-shaped indents.
And of course, he notices immediately, face lighting up with amusement. “…Oh?”
He holds his wrist up to you again like an offering.
“C’mon. You don’t need to act tough anymore — I know you’re starving.”
Your jaw clenches as you follow the slow trickle of blood, wishing desperately you had it in you to tear your eyes away from the sight. But you follow its unhurried path, entranced, mouth dry.
“Just a sip. All you have to do is say the word.” Sukuna’s voice is low, mocking, trying to worm its way into your skull.
Your breathing quickens. Would one sip really be that bad?…
“I’ll even take the muzzle off.”
That makes you move.
Your eyes flicker to his, sharpening with a spark of resistance despite everything. The spark only lights up further when you see how smug he looks.
“…Go fuck yourself.”
His grin widens, teeth flashing.
“There she is.”
And then, he fucking sits fully, leisurely stretching his legs like this is some pleasant, casual conversation. Like it’s a picnic date at the park or something.
Like he isn’t slowly destroying you from the inside out.
“You should be grateful, you know, that I’m even trying here.” Then he snickers meanly. “A lot of owners don’t bother to go to such lengths for their pets.”
If there was any blood left in your hollow veins, it would be sizzling right now.
You want to lunge at him, tear his throat out, watching him choke on his own blood before bleeding out in the most pathetic manner.
But you barely have the strength to lift your head.
Still, you strain out the words, barely a whisper.
“Don’t want your…filth…on my tongue.”
You feel it for a second, genuine anger sparking in him, before it quickly passes through and he stands up again.
“Fine. Be a stubborn bitch — we’ll see how long you last.”
He turns and walks away, casually calling out over his shoulder right before he shuts the door. “See you in another few days. If you’re still awake, that is.”
The door closes, darkness once again swallowing you whole.
It’s been nearly a full week now, when he comes back one more time.
You deteriorated even more within the span of those few days — body weak and brittle, like a dried leaf waiting to be stepped on. You think you’ve started to go mad because you swear you can smell blood, even when there’s nothing, no one else, in that cold, empty cellar.
Your pride has been warring with need for too long, and one side is losing, slowly but surely.
When the door opens again, you’re too far gone to react even the slightest. Not even a single twitch of your fingers.
Sukuna gives you a mocking sigh. “Damn. You’re really letting yourself go.”
He crouches down in front of you again, slowly, like you might to some injured animal bleeding out in the forest. “What happened to all that fire? All that lovely talk about killing me?”
You want to lift your head, shoot him a glare, spit some nasty words, but your body won’t obey.
The hunger is too much now, inside your bones where your marrow should be, clawing at the caving in walls of the hollow cavity that is supposed to be your stomach.
Sukuna watches closely for any sign of resistance, but there is none.
And then he speaks softly, like he’s indulging a kid. “How about I make this a bit easier for you, hm?”
There’s a cruel amusement under the gentle facade of his voice, lingering underneath like poison.
You barely register the movement — the soft tug of leather straps, and the metal cage loosening, falling away.
Your lips automatically part, but no sound comes out. There’s nothing left for you to say.
Then a quick flash of metal, and the scent invades your nostrils.
Hot, flowing, rich.
Sukuna holds his wrist out, the fresh cut welling with blood in slow, thick, droplets. The most alluring shade of red against his tan skin.
A violent shiver skitters down your spine, and you can feel your fangs involuntarily slipping out.
“Poor thing. You’re barely holding yourself together.” His voice drips in faux sympathy, as he watches you twitch.
His other hand moves, swiping into the cut before he swiftly lifts it to your face, pressing bloodied fingers to your lips and smearing it red.
Everything stops.
One drop, one single drop, makes its way through, onto your parched tongue, and its like fire in your veins.
Your body comes alive that moment, every nerve, every deadened muscle, every ounce of hunger roars awake, all at once, dilating your pupils till your eyes are just black voids.
Another shuddering breath, a twitching in your muscles.
“That’s it,” he whispers, watching, entirely too pleased at your reaction as his wrist hovers, just barely out of reach from your mouth.
Your body moves on it own, pure instinct, and no thought as you lunge forward with a low snarl, right fang sinking in, the broken one following soon enough as you close your mouth, latching on completely to his wrist.
And you drink.
Greedily, messily, obscenely sucking and slurping like a wild animal. The taste of his blood is intoxicating, flooding and reviving your starving flesh, pulling you out of that hollow abyss.
You hate yourself for it, but you can’t stop.
Sukuna watches, letting you feed, with a slow smirk.
“There we go. See? That wasn’t so hard.”
You want to rip yourself away, but his blood is too much, too necessary, too good.
No, not good.
You’ve drank hundreds of men’s blood before, but nothing compares to his.
What an evil, cruel twist of fate that his blood is divine — salty, sharp, with a savory mouthwatering fullness, and the slightest hint of sweetness to compliment it all.
Its like ambrosia.
Your grip tightens, as you practically moan in ecstasy, fangs sinking deeper into his warm flesh — you need more, you need—
Suddenly, he yanks his arm back.
You choke, barely stifling a whimper that almost slips out as the warmth is ripped away. Sukuna looks down at his wrist, amiably inspecting the puncture wounds, before glancing back at you.
Your lips are stained crimson, breathing ragged, eyes still looking at him with that almost desperate need.
And he laughs, victoriously. “That’s my girl.”
The taste him still lingers on your tastebuds, in the air — it’s not nearly enough to quell your appetite.
“Just a little more. Isn’t this what you wanted?” you try to convince him, attempting to hide the need in your voice.
You may be missing a fang but there’s still enough venom in one of your fangs to have at least somewhat of an effect — though you suppose that if he willingly let you drink, he must’ve already taken an antivenom.
Still, you try your luck.
He clicks his tongue disapprovingly. “You should have more shame, being so greedy. You’re lucky I even gave you this much.”
Sukuna stands to his full height again.
Panic rushes through you.
“Fuck, please Sukuna? I’ll give you whatever you want—”
He scoffs coldly. “And what could you possibly have to give me?”
You stare with wide eyes, unable to think of an answer immediately, and soon he’s leaving again, the sticky blood drying on your face.
The door slams closed.
This time, the hunger doesn’t dull away, neither does it weaken you. In fact you think it only grows stronger as the hours pass, keeping you awake and restless and craving.
For hours you sit in that dank cellar, your mind replaying the taste of his blood in your mouth until it becomes all you can think about, a tunnel vision of the only way out.
Giving you that taste was his mistake because now there’s a newfound strength forged from the motivation of sinking your teeth into him again.
Draining him for all he’s worth.
You tug against the metal keeping you captive — the cuffs around your wrists, the silver shackle around your ankle.
But you’ve got blood in you now, and that’s enough. Enough for you to heal.
With the phantom taste of him lingering in your mouth you finally push yourself — there’s sickening cracks of your joints dislocating, but even the blazing pain isn’t enough to deter you. It’s nothing compared to the satisfaction of your limp hands pulling out of the cuffs, one step closer to getting what’s yours.
Now, the hard part.
You squeeze your eyes shut, taking another deep breath as you position yourself. The silver cuff is still blistering hot against your skin, but you don’t hesitate.
Not now, not when you can practically taste him sweet and raw in your throat.
You twist. Hard.
The first crack isn’t enough — you grit your teeth, let out a strangled cry that echoes in the cellar, and then do it again.
The world goes white for a second, as you gasp, vision blurring from the sheer, excruciating pain — and still, you don’t stop.
Because now you’re not some starving creature crawling in the dark.
You’re a predator, one that he gave just enough of his blood to remember what that feels like.
Pop. The joint gives way.
You scream through gritted teeth, bile burning up the back of your throat, but you don’t stop. You slam your foot against the ground again, and again, twisting until the bones slide just enough — just enough for the slick burn of metal to scrape over torn skin.
And then you’re free.
You collapse against the floor, gasping, sweat-soaked and trembling, your limbs mangled but already knitting together, muscle by muscle, tendon by tendon, driven by that stolen taste of him inside you.
You stagger to your feet, every movement agonizing, shaky, but determined.
You can still feel him. His pulse. His scent. That infuriating grin of his when he left you here like some half-starved mongrel.
It’s insulting almost, that when you reach the cellar door, it’s unlocked.
But it makes your job easier, so you don’t complain.
You creak it open, and instantly the scent of his skin hits your nose though he’s nowhere in sight.
So you follow it, tunnel visioned on the prospect of finding him and just sinking your teeth into him.
Driven by vengeance, craving, maybe even some fucked up part of you that think his blood belongs to you now.
You can barely think straight by the time you’re pushing open his door, your mind tunneled in on one thing alone- the promise of his blood, hot and pulsing, spilling down your throat.
The embalmer’s job will be easier when they find his body — pale, empty, and drained dry.
You peek inside.
Warm light spills from the open bathroom door, casting a golden sheen across the contours of his bare back. He’s facing away from you, wearing nothing but low-slung black sweats that cling to his hips like a sin.
Droplets still bead along his skin, glinting on muscle, his pink hair darkened and slick from a recent shower.
If you weren’t so ravenous — if you saw anything other than a cure to the ache gnawing through your chest — you might’ve paused. Might’ve taken in the sight of him and thought, briefly, cruelly…
Beautiful.
But right now, nothing exists beyond the hypnotic thrum of his heartbeat, a slow and steady beacon that tugs you forward, that dares you closer.
You linger behind the door, silent, calculating. Waiting for him to move — to shift, to turn, to slip into just the right position.
One clean strike. That’s all you need.
No games. No snarling, clawing mess like the last time.
Just blood.
But then, there’s a subtle shift in the air, and the slightest stiffening of his spine.
Your stomach drops.
He shouldn’t know you’re here. It’s not possible — not for a human, not against your kind. You were made to hunt in silence, to kill before the prey ever knows what touched them.
Still, you don’t falter and he doesn’t turn.
And then—he moves. Slowly, casually.
He sits at the edge of the bed, back still to you, elbows resting on his thighs.
Exposed and vulnerable.
Perfect.
Just as you’re getting ready to pounce, Sukuna completely throws you off base—by pure, stupid luck.
He leans back onto one hand, legs spreading ever so slightly, just enough for the faint shape forming beneath his sweats to catch your eye. His other hand moves lower, casually palming himself through the fabric.
You should move. You know you should.
But something invisible roots you in place. Your hunger simmers beneath your skin, thrumming like static, but your bloodthirsty gaze is locked—utterly transfixed—on him. On the slow, almost lazy drag of his hand over the swelling bulge, coaxing it with idle strokes.
Your body betrays you.
There’s a strange heat building inside you, crawling up your spine, prickling across your skin. It shouldn’t be there. Not when you’re here to feed. Not when your only goal is to strike clean and fast and end this.
But it’s him.
Your breathing falters when his eyelids lower, chin tilting back just slightly as a quiet exhale leaves his parted lips. The light catches on the water still clinging to his shoulders, muscles shifting beneath his skin with every languid movement.
Through the fabric, the outline of his cock becomes more prominent. You can see the shape of it now, the thickness, even from where you stand.
Sukuna tightens his grip, and that’s when you catch it—the faint, almost acrid scent in the air. Slightly metallic. Slightly alkaline.
You suck in a silent breath, stomach flipping when you realize what you’re smelling.
Then he starts to rut slowly into his hand, sighing as the friction builds, and his voice cuts through the stillness, casual but low with strain.
“If you’re gonna do it, do it. Or are you too…” A cruel little grin curves his mouth. “Distracted, now?”
You don’t give him the satisfaction of a response.
You’re on him in an instant—before the last syllable even finishes, slamming your full weight into him. The bed creaks under the force as you straddle him, one hand fisting into his damp hair, the other clawing his shoulder, nails digging in deep enough to make him hiss through his teeth.
“Don’t fuck with me, Sukuna,” you growl, pupils dilated, lips curled in a snarl. His heartbeat is a war drum beneath your hands, loud and intoxicating, and every one of your senses is alive with it—drunk on it.
His grin only sharpens.
“Then stop staring like you wanna fuck me and kill me, sweetheart. Pick one.”
To your irritation, you don’t even have to yank his head back—he tilts it on his own, baring his throat with an infuriatingly smug laugh. A mocking little motion, like he’s offering himself up on purpose.
“That’s more like it,” he murmurs.
And then your fangs sink in.
A soft, distinct crunch as teeth break through muscle and vein.
The instant his skin gives, blood rushes into your mouth—and it’s intoxicating. Thicker, hotter than anything else you’ve ever tasted. Rich and pulsing with life. Almost scalding.
The puncture wounds tighten slightly around your fangs, muscles resisting before stretching open, your jaw clenching as you bury deep—even your cracked fang pushing in with a sharp throb.
His blood is... pure. Potent.
Undiluted, unlike the thin, lifeless taste of most human blood. It tastes like something alive.
Like power, like violence.
The absence of that sharp medicinal tang—no trace of the antivenom you expected—flickers across your thoughts.
But the moment passes. Irrelevant.
Your body’s already screaming for more.
You drink greedily, copper heat washing down your throat, his pulse drumming against your lips. Your grip tightens.
Sukuna doesn’t flinch.
You suck harder, lips sealing tighter over the wound with a wet, obscene sound. Blood flows freely now. Your body trembles, senses blown wide open, muscles twitching as strength floods into you—but even as it does, something gnaws at you.
It still isn’t enough.
There’s a maddening itch, deep under your skin, pulsing low in your gut. A hunger that persists no matter how much you drink.
A raw, aching need that grows stronger, fiercer.
You notice everything.
His heartbeat skipping slightly under your mouth, the way your thighs grip his hips tighter, almost involuntarily. The rake of your nails down his back, searching for purchase, something to ground you.
You drink, and drink, and drink—and yet, the ache won’t go away.
Sukuna notices, of course. His eyes heavy-lidded, dark with knowing amusement, watching as you fall apart in real time, the tremble in your thighs, the desperation in the way you hold him.
He shifts beneath you—just slightly—but it’s enough. Enough for you to feel the hard outline of his arousal pressing right against your core.
And still—not enough.
“You feel it, don’t you?” Sukuna’s voice is low, almost gentle. But there’s that ever-present curl of amusement beneath it. “You’re still hungry.”
You growl against his neck, fangs still sunk deep, refusing to acknowledge whatever smug bullshit he’s whispering now.
His skin burns under your lips. His body is flush against yours, scent heavy in your nose with every inhale—clean, musky, tinged with something spicy and masculine.
It makes him taste even better somehow—complementing the copper tang in your mouth like wine pairing with a rich meal. You have to smell him to taste him fully.
The most disturbing part isn’t the blood. It’s that he’s letting you take it. Letting you drink him dry, take as much as you want.
And if your mind were clearer—sharper—you’d be suspicious. Hell, you’d be insulted.
You tremble.
Because despite the feast, despite the rush of strength, the power flooding your veins like molten heat—you’re still not satisfied.
The hunger claws deeper.
And the awful, rising truth starts to sink in, that maybe it’s not just his blood you crave.
Maybe you’re starving for something else entirely.
Sukuna’s hand moves—slowly, deliberately—dragging rough fingertips across your scalp. He threads them through your hair, the pressure grounding, possessive. His fingers massage along your roots, a slow, sensual gesture that sends an involuntary shiver down your spine.
The other hand slides up your hip, ghosting along your side before settling at the small of your back, easing you down closer, pressing you into him—
That’s when it hits you.
You snap back, instinct lashing out. You tear your mouth away, blood slick on your lips, and shove at his chest hard enough to make him grunt as you push yourself back.
Your breath comes quick. Your head swims. Your mouth tastes like heat and iron and him.
The hand tangled in your hair slips away, settling instead at your waist—not stopping you, but not letting you go either. Possessive and anchoring.
His neck is still bleeding, slow trickles slipping down the curve of his throat, the skin around the puncture turning a deep shade of red-purple, bruised and tender.
You’re not sure what you feel.
Dazed. Disoriented. Blood-drunk.
Angry. Irritated. Frustrated.
Warm.
Too warm.
Sukuna grins up at you, lazy and smug, his eye catching the light just enough to glint with something unreadable.
“Ahh, there it is,” he hums, like he’s been waiting. “Now you get it.”
You fight the urge to recoil—to put space between your bodies—even as the haze lingers, even as your mind reels, trying to make sense of what the hell is happening to you.
“What the fuck did you do to me?” you breathe, your voice hoarse and thin, raw from drinking. Your lips are still slick with his blood. “I should kill you.”
And you mean it. You’ve done it before—taken blood from men, used sex like bait, like a weapon, left them cold and emptied by the time you were done. It never mattered, never lingered.
But this—this is something else entirely.
You try again to pull away, to snap the illusion, but this time his grip tightens. Not roughly, not harsh—but firm. Deliberate. He’s not fazed in the slightest by the open wound on his neck or the fresh blood on your mouth.
“Go ahead,” he murmurs, voice low, almost affectionate. “Then you’ll keep starving. Just like you are right now…”
His fingers drift lower, dragging over your waist, brushing the tops of your thighs. Teasing. Knowing.
Your head spins.
“Just shut up,” you snap, though the words come out thin, like you’re already losing ground.
You fed long enough that the venom should be kicking in by now. But it isn’t.
Maybe he’s built up a resistance—modified something in his blood. It wouldn’t be out of character for a hunter like him, someone who turns his own body into a weapon.
“Mm.” His fingers inch higher along your thigh, nails grazing over the fabric in a light, scraping touch that sends a sharp jolt through your nerves. “You don’t even know what you’re hungry for, do you?”
You grit your teeth, refusing to rise to the bait.
“It’s... not whatever the fuck you think it is,” you mutter, jaw tight. “You must’ve laced your blood or something—”
You’re trying to rationalize it. Trying to explain away the curl of heat low in your belly, the way your skin burns where he touches you.
His chuckle is low and cruel.
“Didn’t have to.” His voice dips to a taunt. “You gorged yourself on my blood after I left you starved for days—like a filthy, mindless little animal.”
His hand slides higher, creeping toward the center of you, and you shoot him a glare sharp enough to cut.
But you still don’t move.
“Tell me something I don’t kn—”
“Shut up.”
His voice slices through yours, dark and final. His grip tightens on your thigh—fingers digging into flesh—not playful anymore.
“If I wanted to hear you run your mouth, I’d fucking ask.”
Your lip twitches. Your eyes narrow into a venomous slit. But you don’t interrupt.
Not yet.
“That blood you drowned in?” he murmurs, tilting his head like he’s about to deliver a punchline. “It flooded your veins. Your muscles. Your heart…”
His smirk deepens, a slow cruel carving across his face.
“But when all your precious organs had their fill—guess where the rest ended up?”
“Right—” His hand fully cups your clothed sex now, before pressing into your clit with the tips of his fingers. “Here.”
You gasp at the sudden pressure against that sensitive bundle of nerves—electricity crackling up your spine.
All at once, you’re excruciatingly aware of every ache in your body, most of all the one blooming between your thighs—tight, pulsing, centered on that single point he’s still pressing down on with cruel precision.
“Pathetic,” he mutters, almost bored. “How long’s it been since you felt this? Since you actually needed?” His scoff is pure venom. “What, years? Bet your body just gave up going into heat altogether—until now.”
That’s what finally snaps the last thread of your restraint.
Your eyes darken, and a vicious smile cuts across your face like a blade. Bitterness burns like acid on your tongue, venom sharpening every syllable.
“Look at you,” you sneer, voice laced with poison. “You talk like I’m some starving beast—but what does that make you?”
Your tone drops, cruel now, twisted to mirror his own.
“A man so desperate for control he gets hard watching a half-dead monster squirm on his lap?”
You laugh—cold, guttural, mean.
“That’s pathetic.”
His expression shifts. Something twists behind his eyes. The lazy smirk vanishes, replaced by a deep crease between his brows—his crimson iris shrinking to a pinprick of rage.
You only lean in closer, fueled by the spark of danger.
“Tell me,” you whisper, voice thick with mockery, lips brushing his. “Did it make you feel powerful, starving me like that? Watching me suffer, weaken, beg?”
You grind your hips deliberately into his hand—now limp and fallen to your side—mocking him with your body, even as it betrays you with heat.
You tilt your head, lashes fluttering.
“Or did it just turn you the fuck on?”
His fingers twitch under your thigh.
“I think I hit a nerve.”
And then—just to twist the knife—you drop your voice to a whisper, every syllable soaked in contempt.
“…Maybe you wanted to see me like this. Needy. Weak. Because deep down, you know it’s the only time I’d ever want you—”
It happens fast.
Sukuna lunges.
But you’re already moving, twisting away—only for him to anticipate it, catching your wrist mid-swipe as you aim for his throat.
You snarl, feral, baring your fangs as you twist and struggle—but he’s stronger.
Of course he is. Vampire or not, you’re still a woman. And he’s a man carved from violence and dominance.
He wrenches your arm behind your back and yanks you in, spine arching painfully as he traps you against him. You snap toward his shoulder—teeth meeting only air as he shifts—and then—
His hand clamps the back of your neck, shoving you down hard into the mattress.
You buck, claw, writhe—but his weight pins you mercilessly.
“Fuck—get the hell off me!” you spit, claws tearing at the sheets.
But Sukuna only laughs. A low, rich sound that rumbles against your spine.
“Why?” he whispers, his breath ghosting hot along your ear. “Scared?”
You growl and slam your elbow back, desperate—
And then you feel it.
A sharp kiss at your throat—cold. Burning. Paralyzing.
Silver.
It must’ve been hidden beneath the bedding—because of course the bastard would sleep with a knife under his pillow.
Your breath catches as the blade’s tip glides across your skin in a slow, almost tender caress. Even that featherlight touch bites sharply against your hypersensitive nerves, lighting them up like fire.
Sukuna hums, clearly entertained. “Thought so.”
His grip in your hair tightens painfully, yanking your head back until your throat is exposed, vulnerable.
“You know what’s funny?” His voice is low, almost musing, edged with cruel amusement. “For all your mouth. All your fucking posturing—”
He presses the flat of the silver blade just beneath your jaw, and the threat of it steals the breath from your lungs.
“—you still end up right here.”
Your breath trembles, a furious mix of rage and something deeper, darker, coiling low in your stomach. Something instinctual and shamefully real.
The knife tilts ever so slightly—just enough for the point to kiss your skin, teasing the possibility of a cut.
You don’t dare move.
“That’s right,” he murmurs, satisfied. “Hold still.”
Your fingers twitch. You could fight—should fight. But the weight of him above you, the glint of silver at your throat... you’re pinned. And you both know it.
The edge of the blade shifts—and this time, it bites. A shallow line, but enough for crimson to bloom and trail slowly down your throat.
You grit your teeth, jaw locked tight, forcing yourself not to flinch.
But he feels it. The way your body tenses beneath him. And it thrills him.
“Not so tough now, are you?”
The blade drags lower, agonizingly slow, skimming the line of your throat, across your collarbone, down your sternum. It sings along your skin, a thread of fire in its wake.
“Nothing but a weak, pathetic, blood-drunk little leech.”
You snarl—but it sounds broken. Frayed and fragile.
Sukuna clicks his tongue, mockingly. “Still got fight in you?”
And then—without warning—he flips the blade, and drags the edge down your chest, slicing through both fabric and skin in one fluid stroke.
Down, down, down—until your shirt splits beneath the pressure. The cold rush of air hitting your exposed skin only amplifies the heat.
You suck in a breath, jaw clenched as the knife cuts a shallow path across your sternum, not deep, but just enough to sting.
“Fucking pervert,” you mutter hoarsely, your voice barely holding together.
He doesn’t reply.
He just keeps going—dragging the knife horizontally now, the blade peeling the torn fabric away from your chest, slow and deliberate. It climbs, tracing up the valley between your breasts like he’s unwrapping a present—leisurely, merciless, fascinated.
A searing line is traced up the swell of one of your tits, and you put all your focus into keeping your breath steady, because the slightest inhale only pushes the delicate mound of fat further against the burning blade.
You stiffen completely when the tattered top is pulled away completely, air brushing against your nipple.
Sukuna watches it harden further with fascination, a cruel smirk curling his lips. “Oh?”
Because he notices everything, to your humiliation. You shiver, despising how your body reacts despite everything.
Hate how much he enjoys it.
“You like this, don’t you?” His tone is taunting, disgusted, but there’s a cruel entertainment beneath it.
You can’t say anything, much more focused on the sharp silver that’s much too close to your areola for comfort. Then with the slightest shift of his wrist the blade moves, the tip of it scraping against the sensitive bud.
You inhale sharply, body reflexively jerking against him as the prickling lances through your chest.
“What do you have to say for yourself?” he chides, circling the blade delicately around your breast before continuing downwards.
“Go to hell,” you spit, voice thick with both vitriol and bitter lust.
The knife descends, running over the curve of your ribs, the delicate dip of your stomach, leaving a trail of burning goosebumps in its wake.
“I’d drag you down with me.”
Another shudder as the blade presses lower, a lump forming in your throat. Another jolt of pain and there’s a shallow cut right below your navel.
Blood wells, reminding you of his control.
His free hand slides up your thigh, just enough to make you hyper-aware of how helpless you are.
“What the fuck are you doing?” you whisper, trying not to audibly pant.
Sukuna just chuckles, running the flat of the blade over the cut, smearing your own blood across your skin.
He watches as you try to shrink away, eyes glinting, before his grip tightens, forcing your hips to still.
“Say it.” His voice is quieter now, something that frays your nerves further.
Your heart pounds. “Say what?”
The blade presses lower, and you feel cold fear beginning to surge through your veins.
“Say you need me.” His nose is in hollow beneath your jaw now, brushing against the skin, as the words crawl down your spine like icy.
“Say you want me.” The tip of the blade drags lower, slipping just beneath the hem of your waistband—dangerously close to something far more intimate.
“Or I’ll carve the truth out of you myself.”
And though you throb between your thighs, your mind is wracked with a new wave of anxiety.
Yet still your pride, your stubborn ego refuses to force the words out of your mouth, so you keep silent, choking on them.
Sukuna just sighs and pushes the metal into your panties.
All thoughts of defiance are exorcised from you as the silver brushes against the vulnerable, soft flesh of your folds, down till it nearly touches your clit.
You yelp at the pain. “S-Stop!”
Partially because it fucking stings, but partially because for a second that jolt of burning heat almost felt…good.
Curse your pathetic, needy cunt that can’t tell the difference between pain and pleasure.
And it only reminds you of the hollow, aching hunger that grows in you. Sukuna, watching you so closely, knows it too.
You break.
“…I need you,” you breathe.
The bastard presses the blade against your sex again and you wince, desperately trying to jerk your hips away. “Louder.”
So finally, you spit through clenched teeth, “I need you.”
The moment the words leave your lips — strained, humiliated, dragged from the deepest part of your throat — Sukuna stills.
Then he laughs, finally pulling the blade back out from your thighs, giving your body a second to relax. Still the sting of silver, the heat of your blood — it lingers.
And the worst part, is that you feel colder without it. You can’t ignore the arousal that’s pooled in your panties, so much so that it feels uncomfortable.
“That’s what I thought.” His voice drips with smug victory. “All that fight, all that snarling, all those ugly words — and look at you now.” The blade presses under your chin, forcing your head to tilt up and look directly into his face. “Whimpering out the truth like a good little leech.”
You want to say something , anything, but the opportunity is stolen from you when you feel his other hand, fingers dragging through the blood seeping from the wound below your navel. The pressure is deliberate, just enough to make it hurt, to remind you of what he’s done to you.
“You’re making such a mess,” he muses, voiced soaked in condescension. “Bleeding all over yourself. Over me.” His fingers travel lower, slow and purposeful as they slide into your panties, where the heat is unbearable. “Dumb little thing.”
He smears it on your clit, using the tacky liquid as lube to rub tight aggressive circles on the swollen nub.
You gasp, lips falling open as the relief lights you up from inside. His other hand keeps the blade pressed under your chin, forcing you to meet his eye so he can watch as you try to keep your own gaze focused.
“You’re lucky I’m merciful,” he purrs, before taking two fingers and abruptly pinching your abused clit to elicit a wince from you. “Go on, leech. Say thank you.”
“…Thank you,” you say quietly, nothing on your mind except his touch where you’ve been needing it most.
He smiles, and then without warning, the sensations stop as he pulls his fingers away.
His weight disappears, leaving an unbearable cold where his warmth once was, in more places than one.
“Now get the fuck off my bed.”
You watch him, blinking in confusion, brows furrowing as desperation clouds your judgement. “Wh-Why? You can’t—”
“Dirty leeches get to stay on the ground where they belong,” he says coldly, clearly trying to suppress a grin.
You stare at him, body thrumming with unfulfilled need, like a wound he only ripped open even wider. Your fingers dig into the sheet, pride once against warring against pulsing ache between your thighs, cool skin burning with need and making your head spin.
You feel like you have a fever.
God, what the hell did his blood do to you?
“…You’re fucking joking.” Your voice wavers, but it’s not weakness — it’s rage. Humiliation.
Sukuna only tilts his head, regarding you like a roach he’s already crushed beneath his heel but is still alive for some reason.
“You think I’d let you defile my bed? After you whined like a bitch in heat just for me to touch you?” he scoffs. “Have some dignity, leech.”
Your breath turns sharp. Hot. Your body betrays you, trembling ever so slightly. The shame burns worse than silver, spreading all over you.
“You’re fucking sick.”
“And you love it.”
You hate that he’s right.
You grit your teeth, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response as you force yourself to move, dragging your shaky limbs off the bed, only to collapse onto the cold, hard floor.
You hear his quiet chuckle before he walks to the edge of the bed, sitting back down beside where you’re on the ground.
Then—
“But I’m not evil. It’s clear you can’t even think straight with the condition you’re in.” He leans down, cupping your chin to look into your glaring eyes, swimming with desire. “Though I can’t help you if you keep your pants on, can I?”
You frown a bit, not the slightest clue where this is going, but the gentleness in his touch and the promise of his words coaxes your heat-addled brain to tug at the waist of your pants, pulling them off to leave you in just your panties.
You look back up at him expectantly.
“Good girl,” he says almost affectionately, and you feel yourself wetten further in anticipation. “But, a leech like you doesn’t deserve my fingers, let alone my cock or tongue.”
Just like that your heart sinks in your chest, into the pit in your stomach as something wicked creeps across his features.
“You’re worth nothing more than my—” His bare foot shifts between your legs, tattooed ankle lifting up between your thighs, applying pressure there. “Feet.”
Your eyes widen, cheeks heating up till it almost hurts as you open your mouth to protest, save yourself the last bit of your dignity.
“N-No.” Your voice shakes just a little despite your efforts, mouth pulling into a pout as tears sting your lash line.
Sukuna hums, a condescending little sound that makes your skin crawl with equal parts shame and heat. His foot presses in just a little more, sending a pulse of sensation through your body that makes you shudder violently.
“No?” he mocks, tilting his head. “Oh, but look at you, leech. Dripping—” he shifts slightly, grinding against the soaked fabric of your underwear, and you choke on a breath, “—like the desperate little parasite you are.”
You look down, suddenly noting that he strangely…actually has nice feet. Long, prominent bones, veins running their length. They’re a lot like his hands.
And somehow the fact that you can actually see the appeal only sickens you more.
You shake your head, trying to summon what’s left of your pride, but the second you do, his foot pushes, forcing a gasp from your lips.
His grin sharpens. “You can’t even pretend to hate it.”
You squeeze your thighs together instinctively, but the movement only traps him there, pressing deeper against you. Your breath stutters, shame and pleasure warring violently inside you.
Then he laughs, shaking his head like he’s watching something pathetic try and fail to crawl away.
“Go on then,” he taunts. “Show me just how low you’ll go. If you want it so bad, you can grind against my foot like the filthy little leech you are.”
Your heart slams against your ribs. “I—I won’t—”
He lifts it away just slightly, just enough to take away the friction, the heat, the pleasure that had you teetering on the edge. The loss is unbearable, your body screaming in protest.
And he sees it. He knows.
His smirk is pure, unfiltered cruelty.
“Oh?” he coos, feigning innocence. “Then I guess you don’t need my help after all.”
He moves to pull away entirely—
And before you can stop yourself, your hips jerk forward, chasing the friction, the pleasure, the relief—
He catches it instantly.
He freezes, pressing back in an instant, and your stomach drops as you realize what you’ve done.
His smirk turns razor-sharp, eyes gleaming with victory.
“That’s what I thought.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, resting your forehead on his knee, chewing on your lip.
You want this. You know it, and he knows it.
So with a shaky breath you lift yourself to quickly slide off your panties, kicking them to the side. “You’re disgusting,” you mutter, a half-hearted attempt to somehow deflect the degrading nature of what you’re willingly choosing to do right now.
He hums, looking down at you over the bridge of his nose with that unbearable smirk as you straddle his foot again. “Hm. Do tell me more.”
You can’t stand looking at his face right now, so you turn your head, leaning your cheek against his sturdy leg instead as you push your hips down, pressing your soaking cunt onto his foot.
It feels horribly good, and slowly you begin to undulate your hips back and forth, seeking the friction of the ridged metatarsals and tendons on his foot catching against your clit.
Back and forth, back and forth.
Sukuna snickers, watching you with interest, at the soft gasps falling from your lips. “If only your ancestors could see you now. How far your bloodline has fallen.”
You scowl a bit, speeding up your movements so that the pleasure can drown out his words and the soft clicking noises of your pussy. “Just….s-stop talking. Please.”
“Why? It was a compliment.” Sukuna lifts his leg again, angling his foot a little to move it in time with your grinding, pulling a soft moan from you. “I, for one, think you look good like this. Like you’re finally where you belong, y’know?”
You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to ignore him as you lean back on your hands, this new angle making it easier for you to rub your clit against him.
For a few seconds he doesn’t say anything either, even as your movements start growing more frantic. You open your eyes to look at him, just to find his eyes trained squarely on where your sticky cunt is sliding obscenely along his foot, his skin glistening with your arousal.
And it’s the fact that he looks painfully aroused himself, that he’s not quite as unaffected as he’s been pretending to be…
The sight makes you cum abruptly with a choked cry, hips thrusting faster and faster as your orgasm shoots up through your spine, the wet sounds growing noisier, as your pussy twitches and leaks an embarrassing amount of slick.
Your movements slow, as your orgasm finishes, leaving you to close your eyes again and catch your breath. Sukuna removes his foot, looking looking down at you and the juices that coat it.
“Eugh. God look what a mess you made.” Then he smirks deviously, gaze shifting to your mortified form, still reeling from your orgasm as you sit back. “I should make you clean your filth with your tongue.”
Your eyes widen to shoot him a look, already shaking your head when he laughs.
“Don’t worry. You should be grateful I’m not that sick.”
You don’t reply, just looking at him quietly, growing more and more aware by the second that your clitoral orgasm provided temporary reprieve just to heighten that horrible ache inside of you. Yet before you can even open your mouth to voice your concerns, he’s standing up.
“Where…are you going? That’s it??”
Sukuna stops in the doorway, shoulders loose, head tilted, and for a second—just a second—you think he might change his mind. Might turn around and give you something.
But then he snorts, sharp and derisive, slicing straight through your chest.
“Jesus,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Listen to yourself.”
He glances over his shoulder, and the look in his eyes is nasty—not the usual smug amusement, not even condescension. Just pure, unfiltered disgust.
“You’re still fucking dripping, aren’t you?” His lips curl in a sneer. “I already fed you, you don’t expect me to fuck you too, do you?” He laughs, slow and cruel. “God, you really have no fucking shame.”
Your face burns, humiliation crashing into you, but you refuse to let it show. You square your shoulders, jaw tightening. “You’re the one who—”
“You what? Made you?” His grin widens, something wicked in it. “Oh, come on, leech. Don’t be fucking pathetic. You were already soaking before I even touched you. You should be grateful I even let you rub yourself off on me like a stupid little parasite.”
He laughs again, shaking his head. His tone turns mocking, singsong. “Poor thing, all hot and needy, and still so fucking empty.”
Your nails dig into your palms. You hate him. You hate how much you want to hurt him. How much you want him to hurt you.
But most of all, you hate how easily he thinks he can win.
So you lift your head, tongue curling around something venomous. “Guess that makes two of us, huh?” you sneer.
Sukuna’s expression flickers—just a flicker—but you catch it. And it feeds you.
You hum, tilting your head, letting your gaze drop deliberately down his body before dragging it back up, slow, like you’re assessing him. “Or what, was that little act supposed to convince me you don’t want it just as bad?” You scoff, eyes glinting with something sharp and mean. “Please. You’re the one who gets hard over starving me out.”
His jaw tightens. Just a twitch. A flex of muscle. But you know him well enough to see it for what it is—annoyance.
Good.
“You act like you’re above it,” you murmur, voice like silk laced with barbed wire. “Like you don’t need it.” You shift, slowly stretching out your legs, like you aren’t still burning between them. “But I felt you, Sukuna.” Your voice dips, taunting. “I smelled you.”
His fingers twitch at his sides. You watch it, the way they flex—like he’s already imagining wrapping them around your throat.
But you’re not done.
“You like this just as much as I do.” Your smile sharpens. “No—probably more.”
A slow blink, a long inhale and then Sukuna’s lips curl again, his expression smoothing into something infuriatingly condescending.
“That’s cute,” he drawls. “Really. But let’s get one thing fucking straight—”
He moves before you can react, crouching down in front of you, one strong hand gripping your jaw. Hard. Forcing you to look at him.
“I could ruin you.” His voice is low, deadly. “Make you beg until your fucking throat is raw. And I still wouldn’t let you have it.”
His thumb brushes your bottom lip, a mockery of something tender.
“Because you don’t deserve it.”
Then, just as quickly, he shoves your face to the side.
“Oh, and—” He swipes his fingers through the mess between your thighs, then flicks it at you with a lazy smirk. “Clean yourself up,” he mutters, before sticking his fingers into his mouth and licking them clean of your arousal.
You don’t flinch, don’t let him see the way your breath shudders.
You just lift your chin, eyes locked onto his, and smile sweetly.
“Don’t forget to clean yourself up too,” you purr. “Can’t have you walking around smelling like me.”
He snarls—a real, actual snarl—but you only grin wider.
And then, with a final glare, he turns, disappearing into the bathroom.
Leaving you alone and aching.
^divider by kazicide
#sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#jjk x reader#sukuna ryomen#sukuna smut#jjk au#jjk fanfic#jujutsu sukuna#sukuna jjk#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna ryomen smut#ryomen x reader#jujutsu kaisen ryomen#jjk ryomen#ryomen x you#jjk#jjk dark content#vampire au
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𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: An antique collector gets an unusal package containing a knight ('A Knight' from Reverse 1999) right at his doorstep, with lots of old english.
𝐂𝐰: Blow job, unprotected mirror sex and a creampie.
Being into ancient relics came with its pros and cons, for example your house looked like a literal portal to a Victorian house…at the expense of you living off of 2 dollars until your next paycheck. Which in hindsight wasn’t as bad as it sounded given the high ranking job you managed to somehow bag. No need to worry about going to the office either, remote work - you really were blessed weren’t you. Nice modest house, from the outside that is, a beautiful interior filled with all sorts of mystical shiny relics you had managed to collect like a crow and a good job- Ding dong.
You weren’t expecting any guests, especially at this hour. With a grumbled murmur of, ’Who in the hell comes over at 7am sharp.’ you made your way to the front door of your flat. Taking a deep breath in to mentally prepare yourself for any sort of human interaction before plastering on a smile and opening the door. To your surprise the hallway was empty, not a single soul in sight at all. It’s as if a ghost had decided to pull a prank on you and ding dong ditched you leaving nothing more but a few boxes in its wake.
Another, more annoyed sigh left you before your gaze lowered to the ground where two boxes were left to be welcomed into your comfortable Victorian looking house. It was an easy deduction that these must be some of the items you had bought a few days? Weeks? Maybe even months or years ago..you’ve lost count of the times you’ve ‘accidentally’ wandered onto a website that sells all sorts of trinkets for your hoarder mind. The older the better, that’s how it usually went.
A swift few trips back and forth from your door to the livingroom and the lonely boxes were finally adopted into the family of silver shine that covered the place. The first box opened up to two beautiful antique vases - intricate designs of wreaths covered shimmering the area perfectly. One simple look around and you knew exactly where to place the vases. The small nooks, that the plethora of items you owned had created, on each side of the hallway leading to your bedroom like you were some royalty.
The second box was a little more concerning, to say the least, it was heavy. Like really heavy for some shiny antiques. Aside from that, you didn’t quite recall buying anything other than a couple of vases. Sure, your mind could have fooled you but surely you would have remembered a purchase that seemed to weigh tons. Anticipation filled your gut as you hovered over the box, hunched like a dragon obsessing over every speck of gold in the mountains of shinies your mind was hooked on.
With careful precision you removed the tape from the box and let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. Opening a freebie of sorts shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is right now. ’Did someone send this to the wrong address? No- what if this is something illegal. I really should just leave it..’ Seems like that inner debate lasted for approximately 3 seconds before eyeing the suspicious box became too daunting and you quickly opened it up. Having pressed your eyes shut in case something were to jump out of it and scare you.
One, two, three, four- okay nothing jumped out to surprise you. Recovering from the tense jumbled position your hands managed to form, as a protective gesture, gave you a better chance to properly look at what the box had to offer. Inside laid an absolutely stunning silver armour. It was beautiful, more so than any other old knightly armour you had seen before. It was in pristine condition, shiny with no smell of rust, covered from head to toe in extremely small carvings that were clearly embedded into it with love.
The only..concerning part of this all was that the box seemed packed. Well, it looked like it was filled to the brim, ready to bust - which gave the initial fear of the box containing something illegal- but to your eyes it was a mere cape with some metal gloves. Clearly part of an armour..maybe the rest of the armour was buried beneath the cape - which was beaming with rich blue fabric and golden stitches to show its high class. Though as soon as you tried to reach into the box it didn’t even take a millisecond before sheer surprise made your body recoil backwards.
’What the hell was that.’ You thought as your gaze lingered on the suspicious cardboard before you, then lowered to your shaking hands. You swear you felt something - shocker the box had items in it- but you didn’t touch anything. Your hands hovered over the metal gloves but you weren’t touching them. So, why in the hell did it feel like a hard surface was beneath your skin. ’Am I going insane? Is this the end for my brain?’ The thoughts spilled from your lips via an awkward chuckle.
Some small glances between your right and left hand eased your spiralling mind before they were ultimately dragged across your face with a groan. Maybe it was the early morning that was fucking with your head because no other suggestion would provide a suitable answer for your weird hallucination, if that moment could even be called that. It was around 7 am in the morning after all, perhaps you were still half asleep and not thinking correctly..or worst case scenario you’ve unleashed a phantom into your house, forced to get an unwelcome roommate.
Moving slightly closer to the box, for probably the third time in the span of half an hour, you pulled all your courage to try and see what truly was inside the box. ’There’s no way what just happened was real. Some passing…air..maybe..hopefully’ Not even you yourself managed to reassure the marathon running heart beating out of your chest.
“Ah..That wast quite a trip…Greetings.” A voice reached your ears and instead of the usual screech, yelp or a freak out, you had properly convinced yourself that you had lost it. Falling back onto your heels you sat before the mystical box that seemed to house a…ghost?
“...WHAT THE SHIT!?” It finally seemed to click that what had just happened was not, in fact, a dream but real life. Even though you could see nothing but some metallic gloves and a curtain of a blue cape it took way too long for you to react to the presence before you. Scrambling up to your feet, heart ready to meet its grave as you quite literally sprinted down the hallway to shield yourself in your bedroom. ’What is happening..this is not real..but it was. The damn armour spoke.’ You heaved out as your back was neatly pressing against the wooden door, providing a comforting feeling of knowing nothing, even the weird knight ghost, could sneak up on you.
- - -
’Okay..breathe in..and out..you can do it..’ That had been a soothing mantra leaving your lips for the past..let's say another half an hour. Each time you had come close to opening your door, which was just your hand lingering ominously over the doorknob, your mind managed to convince you to retract your hand. Leaving it awkwardly stiff beside you as the next wave of hyping up followed. It probably took you about ten more minutes before you actually got the courage to exit the comfort of your bedroom.
The walk into your living room area seemed a lot longer than you remembered, it might have been the fear that played the most important role right now but at least it gave you the time to think of an ‘escape' plan. Spoiler: it would have been you sprinting right back into your bedroom, which one might argue, is not the most clever of plans.
One look to the left and one look to the right managed to dim the light of your concerns, Pheww..there's no one here. See, I told you there was nothing to worry about.’ You whispered out to yourself. The worries that had clouded your mind for way too long were eased, as much as one could ease them in this situation to be fair, so for your own sanity you wanted to quickly discard the cursed cardboard and go back to your humble life.
The chucked out box looked innocently back at your grimacing face. Almost making it seem like you were having a stare off with it before pulling your door closed. A deep breath in and you were finally ready to actually start your day, despite the chaos you had endured for the better part of an hour now. Turning around you were faced with none other than the mystery armour itself. “So, I'm not crazy. I've just lost it all..” your mouth hung open at the sight, the fleeing plan from before having morphed into a freezing one.
“Someone believeth we did get off on the wrong foot. ‘Tis a delight to meeteth thee, sir.” As much as you would have wanted to answer with something, anything, there was a clear and strong barrier between your head and your mouth, refusing to let anything pass. Instead of communicating you stared at the knight in utter shock with your jaw probably growing roots against the wooden floor by this point. “I am, Knight. Nay necessity to worry for Someone is not vengeful.” he bowed before you in a well-mannered way.
It took you a few blinks and stutters before you mustered out a simple, “What..are you?” That seemed to be the question that broke the dam because the following flood of questions seemed to confuse the poor knight as much as you had been confused and continued to be. “How did you get here? Why are you here and what the fuck is up with the invisibility?!”
“Right, such a colourful vocabulary thee has't.” The knight murmured out as he swayed in his spot - as visible from the swishing from his cape. He held out his hands in a surrender and tried to explain as calmly as he could in hopes that the words would actually reach your overburdened head.
“I'm afraid Someone doth not have't an answer for yond, or aught of those questions. Someone recalls getting defeated in combat and now..waking up here.” The smooth voice from the invisible body before you says, and you can somewhat tell, from the moving cape, that he's looking around the place. Inspecting the interior as if he hadn't had the time for that when you’d locked yourself into your bedroom for half an hour.
“So..you just are like..that?” You asked, hands motioning to the body or lack thereof with a confused expression. Brows having contorted into a jumbled mess as you desperately tried to wrap your head around all of this crazy magical nonsense that had been suddenly pushed into your casual life.
The knight nodded, or that's what it seemed like at least, “Correct, this is merely how Someone is.” The knight turned around with a swish, and happily questioned you about your interior choices. “Someone might not but sayeth, thy interior selections art quite embracing. Art thee fond of history?”
The nod was already halfway finished when you realised that you were genuinely speaking to some invisible knight. ’There's nothing to do about it anymore anyways..might as well have a chat.’ Walking a bit closer, to quickly slip past him you walked to the living room and gestured to the different antiques you've been collecting for years now. “I am, yes. Any object with historical value or an eye-pleasing design has a place in my home.”
Throwing a quick smile towards the invisible knight seemed like a welcoming enough gesture as the knight moved closer to better chat on the topic. Being an old knight from fuck knows which time period gauranteed some first hand experience, in the historical view point. Two historical nerds being pulled together by fate had ensured long chats on anything antique related. Luckily for you the ‘phantom’ you thought to have let loose in your flat just happened to be a devoted and gentle knight. You weren’t sure how or why this happened but as of right now, this surprise roommate was good enough.
- - -
It has been a few months since this mysterious knight entered your life. There might have been a bit of a rocky start to this new living plan but as it turns out it wasn’t that different to how things would have been with a regular roommate, yours was just..a little obscure. In that time you’ve been together with him the amount of knowledge you’ve gained is astronomical. You knew your stuff before but now, having a real person to confirm or deny these ‘facts’ was real handy. As well as getting to know the real meaning behind some antiques. It was thrilling to say the least.
In addition to all of that, you got to know the knight better. All of his past battles, memories, friends..everything. He had been surprisingly willing to share such personal parts of himself so fast. Which likely worked to create a stronger bond, because what lunatic would immediately trust ‘flying’ gloves without knowing anything about said gloves. He came out to be a lot more interesting than you had previously thought.
Though there is one little knack to it all. He seems to be very insistent on calling you ‘his Lord’. It wasn’t immediate, no not at all, it was gradual. Revealing stories of his past Lord and then ever so slowly starting to refer to you as a Lord. Maybe it was the interior design that made him fit right in or maybe he just missed his Lord at home - wherever that may be - but he didn’t even stop when you brought it up. In fact, it seemed to enable him.
“My Lord, Someone might not but sayeth I'm thankful for thy hospitality. You've been more than kind.” He said earnestly as he sat across from you at the dining table, conveniently fit for two in this small warm flat. It was almost audible how he beamed when he said it, having forced it out from the deepest parts of his heart.
“I said it already, you don’t need to call me ‘Lord’. I’m just some guy you live with now.” You half assedly laughed out while swishing the cooling tea around in your mug with a spoon. A comforting habit you’ve picked up on, and it seems he had too given how the armoured hand hesitantly moved to cover yours.
“I insist. Thee helped me and Someone wisheth to showeth his own gratitude” the knight murmured out honestly and drew his hand back once your mindless tea mixing motion had come to a still. There was a moment of silence before he spoke up once again, this time more sheepishly. As if he was actively debating whether to truly speak his mind or not while he was already speaking, “Doth such a title bother thee?”
He doesn’t even let you answer that it doesn’t as much as bother you but it just feels out of place given they didn’t live in the 17th century or well, you didn’t. “Someone just wisheth to refer to his own loveth accordingly.” Yes, you heard that correctly. He did just say that and by the looks of it was mostly intentional, maybe revealed a bit earlier than he was ready for given the fidgeting hands on his cape but it certainly wasn’t a mistake. The knight didn’t even attempt to take it back, just waiting for a response to the small confession.
“You..I heard that correctly..right?” You practically choked out, surprised - though let's be honest the signs were very much clear. The use of a title, the small affectionate gestures, the deep talks about his past. The knight trusted you a lot more, a lot faster than one would in such a short amount of time.
“Ay. Yond is correct. Someone wisheth to pursueth thee, if thee don't mind yond, my Lord.” He said out with a heartfelt tone, shifting in his seat to lean more onto the table, likely not wanting to miss any small reaction you might let out. Every small detail was valuable to him, especially when it came to love.
“I..I’m not sure, it’s just.” You didn’t want to break the poor knight’s heart. He was kind and charming - from what you’ve managed to deduct - but he was an invisible knight. No amount of delusion changed that. “I’m sure you’re a really kind guy-” “Please. Someone beggeth thee. This comes from the bottom of his own core. Alloweth Someone showeth thee the extent of this loveth, my Lord.”
’Gosh, was he always so adorable? Begging to prove his love..that amount of devotion wasn’t easy to come by nowadays.’ You sighed and let out a gentle chuckle. Head tilting up from the mug between your hands to now look at the desperate knight. “Alright. I accept your confession.”
This made the knight ecstatic, getting him to jump from his chair before his armoured hands came up to cover his mouth. “Apologies, Someone is over the lunar sphere from thy acceptance. Someone is so joyous he couldst kisseth thee.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out from his body language that he was begging, aching to show his devotion, his love for you.
With a sheepish sigh you nodded at him, giving him the permission he was hoping to receive. No time was wasted for him to quickly make it before you. His armoured cold hands coming to hesitantly and so gently rest at your cheeks, the metal caressing your warm skin before he leans forward. “Someone loveth thee.” The whispered words brushed your lips before the two worlds met.
His lips were very much real and warm, obviously he was real but it was your first time kissing an invisible knight, you didn’t know what to expect so to feel it was relatively normal eased your mind. Hands sliding up his armoured hands to explore their way onto the knight’s shoulders and then around his neck to pull him closer. Growing more confident with the way things were going, you wasted no time in tilting your head feeling him lose his base adrenaline from the beginning.
A smile made its way onto your lips as you felt his breath hitch into your mouth, eating that delicious reaction right up. Following your instincts and sliding your tongue along his shaky lower lip before intruding his mouth. Huffs and slurps filled the air around you two as you dedicated the moment to show him the modern, intense, kisses his knightly mind couldn’t even fathom. “My Lord..” the breathed sound was like music to your ears as you pulled away from his lips, seeing the clear signs of shared spit between you two breakrather lewdly.
“Can Someone please thee?” He huffed out, armoured hands still cupping your face as you could feel his intense gaze on you. Begging. You didn’t even need to see it to know that his face was begging for you. For him to be able to show his love. “Of course, Love.” The shaky breath that left him at the response did not go unnoticed by you, feeling how the cold metal travelled down your neck to your chest, gliding it down the front until your hips.
Kneeling before you his hands pried open your thighs, thumbs massaging the skin beneath the fabric. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you could feel how his head leaned in to press gentle pecks all along your thighs. Ranging from your knees to the thighs to the inner thighs before his nose was flush with your groin, pressing intimate kisses the the area. Pulling you a little closer as his armoured hands grabbed your ass so he could properly hide his face between the soft warm thighs that belonged to you, his Lord.
“May Someone?” he breathed out and buried his head into your warmth. Nuzzling his nose against your growing hardness with need that was unexpected from a calm and collected knight such as himself. Smiling against you when he felt your hands travel down to rid yourself of the annoying fabric that seemed like a brick barrier between you two right about now.
As soon as the pants had been cast aside and let pool at your ankles after some quick manoeuvring, the knight wasted no time in pleasing his Lord. One, two and three kisses up your length before his armoured hands dug it out from your boxers, dragging his tongue along the slit. Tasting the pre that had started to bead from the tip at the continuous affection you were receiving from the knight worshipping you on his knees.
“You can..do what you wish-” before you were given the chance to even finish your sentence, the knight had already kissed the needy and messy head before taking it into his mouth. Humming against it as he suckles it with a slurp, making you lean your head back with a groan. Hands going to quickly grasp the seat of the backless chair you were sitting on while the knight selfishly pushed his head down to take you in his mouth whole.
The feeling of a warm, welcoming mouth with a soft tongue gliding against the underside of your dick was heavenly. Making you press your eyes shut while you face the ceiling, to deal with the loving affection you've been deprived of for a while. Who knew that such devotion and worshipping felt so damn good that you felt your chest heave and thighs shudder under the armoured hands that kept them perfectly open and in place for the knight.
Hollowing his cheeks around your dick, the knight pulled his head up to run his tongue over your head again before lowering it to take you to the base. Feeling how you grew harder in his warm mouth, how you twitched in his throat like some starved man. Gosh if he wasn’t smitten before then he certainly was now. Wanting to please his Lord until he was satisfied and on cloud nine.
The knight hummed in delight from the way you heaved from his ministrations, that in turn making him pick up his bobbing to deepthroat you with every single move. “Ahh..wai- mmh!” The words were cut off by the knight's armoured hand reaching to cup your balls, fondling them with care while he gagged on your dick like some hoe who'd just seen an ankle for the first time in his life.
The warmth of his wet mouth and squeeze of his adjusting throat were damn near perfect that when he ignored your plea from before he certainly acknowledged the way your body shook violently not, staggering on release. The shivered breaths and hitched bucks into his mouth made the knight as pleased as he could be. “..hahh Love..please..” you managed to force out from the onslaught of pleasure.
A moment to catch your breath as his mouth popped off your erection, the pre mixed with saliva keeping you connected. “I don't..shitt..I don't want to cum from this..can I fuck you?” The words came out breathy and hopeful as you finally leaned your head down to look at the sight of the knight, your knight treating your dick as if it's a sucker.
While he decided if he wanted to let you or not, your gaze zoned in on the fact you could see through him. You could see how he took you into his mouth, how your dick fit his throat and how it squeezed you deliciously. You really could see the hazed pre-covered channels his body ‘hid’, the same ones you had claimed. Damn was it a turn on.
With an eager nod the knight rose from his feet to take your hand and pull you up. Hoping to guide you to your bedroom, through the royal looking hall, where you could continue to explore and share the devotion of love as a knight should to his Lord. However, that plan was spoiled, not in a bad way though. Instead of the bedroom, you dragged your knight next to a mirror. Standing behind the eager knight and ridding him of the cape that obstructed your perfect view.
Your hands finding his shoulders and travelling down his body, worshipping the hidden gem of a man just as he had done to you minutes before. Sliding them down his chest to stomach and then his thighs which you grabbed and pushed down on, making his ass slot flush against your hard on.
“Have you always been naked, hmm?” You whispered slyly as your hands roamed, claimed and ravaged his body like some carnivore. To which he simply let out a shaky breath, leaning his body more against you as a silent invitation to take and enjoy your meal. To show just how much you loved him.
A sneaky hand had made its way into the crease of his ass, exploring until it found a snug rim of muscles. ’Perfect.’ You thought as you massaged it in a circle before teasingly putting pressure on it til the tip of your pointer finger slipped past the force.
It wasn’t even much and you had already dragged out a moan from your knight, it was small and similar to a hitched breath but it was there. Slowly easing your finger in, you took pride in the sounds already leaving the knight. All shaky and broken as if you were already fucking him dumb. Your gaze focused on the sight of your digit going in and out consistently in the mirror, seeing everything through his clear body.
Not deeming it worth seeing just yet, you waited until he was prepped before showing him the sight you found magical and took pride in. Once the single finger had turned to two, letting you scissor him to your heart's content it felt like a good time to grind your neglected throbbing erection against his ass. Making sure you didn’t soften while getting your knight nice and loose for you.
The knight had had his head leaned back on your shoulder, warm breaths escaping his parted lips like a prayer while your hands worked their magic. When he felt three digits work him open, curling and thrusting in him with nasty squelches he bit his lip to limit the lewd whimpers his well used throat was collecting like a magnet. The broken bucks down against your fingers said more than words ever could.
“You're so perfect, Love.” You murmured slowly as you withdrew your fingers with a slick sound, earning a broken gasp from your knight. The coated fingers gave a few pumps to your dick before guiding it right against your knight’s quivering hole. Applying pressure to it but not breaching it just yet. Instead your free hand moved to look for his head, forcing him to look down into the mirror to see the spot you were about to ruin and claim.
“Look at that, love. Focus on it, yeah?” You whispered as you finally pushed in and breached his tight hole. Feeling how his body tensed from the intrusion but despite the overwhelming feeling of you filling him up til breaking, he followed orders like a good knight. Focusing exactly where you had wanted, seeing how you had entered him. How his needy hole was trying to eat you up, to pull you further into the body he owned yet now shared with you.
“Moveth…please moveth, my Lord.” he croaked out with a simple buck against your dick. Feeling how it buried itself deeper, digging itself a snug home within the welcoming cavern inside your knight. Having seen perfectly how each drag of your dick against his walls was carving a road to heaven. Every small move drawing out a perverted sound from the already overstimulated knight.
Pushing your knight flush against the mirror before you, the grip on his neck never faltered, keeping his gaze exactly where you wanted it. Loving the idea that he’s seeing you ravage his body, claim it for your own with each wet slap of skin against skin. Feeling how his body shook and shuddered beneath your determined bucks against his soft yet clear skin. Pushing in an up to reach as deep within him as possible, showing your devotion to him loud and clear, leaving no room for interpretation.
“Oh-! fuckk..” the knight spilled his moans as he saw the brutality of your thrusts. Knowing - feeling how your dick pistoned in and out of his quivering depths like there was no tomorrow but also being ordered to see. God damn was it hot to be forced to view how your flushed and needy head toyed with his gushy walls, how your dick throbbed within him and most of all how your pre beaded out of your slit to fog up the clear view in his body.
Your hands suddenly grasped at his hips and pressed against him, hard. Pushing yourself into him so much that he felt his sweaty chest come into contact with the cool mirror. Lewd, loud and broken moans being pulled out from your knight while you pick up your pace. The once slow and calculated thrust transforming into raw needy ones. Chasing the high you'd been teetering on once before.
The knight’s metal gloves were clanking against the mirror while you fuck into him like a rabid dog. The sweet like honey mewls only tightening the eventually bursting knot in your abdomen. The tight perfectly delicious squeeze around your shaft, the filthy sounds of pleasure and creaking from your surroundings and the stimulation of fucking your knight dumb provided were enough.
“Pleaseplease- fuuckk..Love!” You groaned out as the burning tightness in you was becoming overwhelming. Your hips burying themselves neatly against your knights plush ass in a frenzy as you shake against one another. The force of it all making your knight cry out in bliss, drowning out the cracking of glass.
With no warning or a heads-up, you drew your dick out til the head and harshly pressed back in, one final time before coming. A loud moan erupts from your knight as the final blow pushed so perfectly into him, though the bliss was short lived with the sudden break of the mirror before you. Luckily neither got hurt, because your knight had his armoured gloves on and you had already slowed your hips to a near halt.
Leaning against your knight's back, catching your breath as you felt his walls milk you dry. He hummed in pleasure, catching his own breath from the intensity of it all as his dick pumped ropes of cum onto the mirror and the broken shards across the floor. His eyes shutting for a moment but opening just as fast, yet tiredly, when he felt your hands wrap around his middle, sliding down to hover over his abdomen. “Would you look at that?” You breathed out with gratitude.
“That's all mine now. My perfect knight.” To which your knight seemed to shiver at when he saw how well you had used the canvas of his body, painting his clear inner walls white with devotion. A perfect art exhibit in his body of who this knight was devoted to. It fit perfectly with your already enormous collection of antiques. What's the harm in having your personal knight as well?
Though that thought will be stored for later, seeing as you knight was becoming sleepy. Exhausted from the physical labour, not in a fighting way he had been used to in his old world,but in a more primal way that had completely drained him, slowly growing limp in your arms. Luckily the hands around his middle held him up, for now. Gently pulling yourself out of him with a pop, you guide your sleepy knight to a nearby couch to avoid you collapsing too.
Making sure he's nice and comfortable before storming to the bathroom for a warm moist cloth to wipe your knight clean. Ensuring he felt loved for, just as much as he loved you. “Rest well, my Knight.” You whispered as you pampered him in his light sleep, cleaning his sheen covered skin and leaking body before peppering him with gentle kisses.
Damn, you were going to have a lot of cleaning up to do after this heartwarming aftercare. Like properly cleaning the cum leaking from your knight, a shower to rid the sweat covering your bodies, the glass shards on the floor from the broken mirror and the dribbles of your knight’s release coating the mirror like an art piece. Might as well snuggle close to your knight while you can as the exhaustion hits you like a brick too.
“Someone loveth thee, my Lord. So much.” That was the last thing you heard after cuddling close and welcoming sleep which was well earned after such a thorough display of devotion.
#Stateac's works.#dom male reader#male reader#masc reader#top male reader#reverse 1999#reverse 1999 a knight#A good display of devotion is necessary for a knight#Seems like you sated him well enough for now#lest he gets hooked on you#which probably isn't a bad thing#your own personal knight <3
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With Her I Die |1|
Past J.T to Eventual S.S x Female Reader
Chapter One: Cold Plunge
warnings: major character death, grieving, suicidal intentions, physiological trauma, toxic codependency, and horrible horrible coping mechanisms
masterlist | prologue | next chapter
You wake to the sensation of something gritty beneath your fingernails, a metallic taste lingering on your tongue. The world comes into focus slowly – the canopy of trees above, filtered morning light, the hushed quiet of the forest floor. Your hands are crusted with dried blood and soil, dirt packed deep under your fingernails.
For a moment, there's just confusion. Then the weight in your chest returns, that familiar crushing pressure that's been there since... since...
"You're so fucking perfect, aren't you, Jackie?"
"And you're so good at being difficult."
"At least I feel something. At least I'm not pretending."
"I'm so tired of your mood swings. You're either all over me or you're—"
"What? What am I?"
"—impossible. You're impossible."
"I fucking hate you sometimes."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do. I hate you. I hate how good you are at being perfect, and I hate how bad I am at keeping my emotions bubbled."
"That's not fair."
"None of this is fair!"
You can't remember how you got here, how your hands got this way. The last thing you recall is falling asleep in the cabin, Shauna's protective arm draped over you like a shield.
"There you are." Shauna's voice cuts through the haze. She's standing a few feet away, one hand resting on her slightly swollen belly, the other clutching a water canteen. "I've been looking everywhere."
You look down at your hands again, the rust-colored stains embedded in your skin's creases. "I don't remember..."
"You were sleepwalking again." Shauna kneels beside you, her movements careful, deliberate. She uncaps the canteen and takes your hands in hers, pouring water over them. The cold shock of it makes you gasp. "You were digging. By the grave."
Jackie's grave.
You watch as the water runs pink, then clear. Shauna's hands are gentle but firm, her fingertips tracing circles on your palms as she washes away the evidence of your nocturnal wandering.
"Did anyone see?" Your voice sounds foreign, distant.
"No. Just me." Shauna's eyes meet yours, dark and knowing. "I followed you. Like always."
The days bleed together. You move through them like a ghost, performing the motions of survival without truly participating. Hunting. Gathering. Eating just enough to keep Shauna from forcing more food into your mouth. Sleeping only when exhaustion overwhelms the fear of dreams.
"You need to talk to someone," Shauna says one evening as you sit by the fire, staring into the flames. "It doesn't have to be me, but—"
"There's nothing to say." Your voice is a blade, sharp and defensive.
"You're not the only one who lost her." Shauna's hand finds yours, squeezing gently.
But you are. You're the only one who knew what it was like to have Jackie's lips against yours in the dark, to feel her fingers tangled in your hair, to hear her whisper promises neither of you could keep. You're the only one who failed her so completely.
"I hate you for leaving me here alone."
The words echo in your mind, but you can't remember if you said them aloud that night or if they remained trapped inside, another thing left unsaid between you and Jackie.
You find yourself at her grave again, the small mound of earth and stones the only marker of where she lies. You've been coming here more frequently, speaking to her as if she can hear you. Sometimes you rail against her, screaming until your throat is raw. Other times, you whisper apologies like prayers.
Today, you simply sit, tracing patterns in the dirt with your finger.
"I keep thinking about what you said," you murmur. "About me being bad at keeping my emotions bubbled. You were right. I'm still bad at it."
Wind rustles through the trees, and for a moment, you imagine it's her response.
"Everything reminds me of you. The way the sun hits the water in the morning. That stupid fucking sweater Shauna keeps folded under her bed. The way the fire smells at night." Your voice cracks. "My heart bleeds every fucking day, Jackie. It won't stop bleeding."
You dig your fingers into the soil, letting it fill the spaces beneath your nails.
"I hate you for dying," you whisper. "I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for making me love you."
Shauna finds you there, hours later, curled on your side next to the grave. She doesn't say anything at first, just sits beside you, her pregnant belly a reminder of the life continuing despite everything.
"You can't keep doing this," she finally says, her voice soft but firm. "You can't keep punishing yourself."
"I'm not," you lie.
"You are." Shauna's hand finds yours, pulling it from the dirt. "You think I don't know what you're doing? You think I don't see you getting closer to that edge every day?"
You turn to look at her, surprised by the tears in her eyes.
"I'm terrified," she admits, her voice barely audible. "I'm terrified that one day I'll wake up and you'll be gone. That you'll have buried yourself right alongside her."
The truth of her words hits you like a physical blow. You've been fantasizing about it, haven't you? About lying down in the cold earth next to Jackie, about finally escaping the constant ache of her absence.
"I can't do this without you," Shauna continues, one hand on her belly. "I need you here. With me."
You sit up slowly, dirt falling from your clothes. "I don't know how to be here without her."
"Yes, you do." Shauna's grip on your hand tightens. "You just don't want to."
That night, you let Shauna wash your hands again, watch as she carefully cleans beneath your nails. The two of you have developed these rituals, these unspoken agreements. She keeps you tethered to the world of the living; you keep her connected to the memory of Jackie.
"Do you think she knew?" you ask as Shauna combs her fingers through your tangled hair.
"Knew what?"
"How much I loved her. Even when I said I hated her."
Shauna's hands pause briefly before resuming their gentle movements. "Yes," she says with certainty. "She knew. You're both so good at being troubled, but you were never good at hiding how you felt about each other."
You lean back against her, feeling the solid warmth of her body, the subtle movement of the life growing inside her.
"I dream about her," you confess. "But she's always just out of reach. Always walking away."
"She's not walking away," Shauna murmurs, her arms encircling you. "She's just somewhere else now. And we're still here."
We're still here.
The words settle into you like stones, heavy but somehow grounding. You close your eyes and for the first time in weeks, you don't immediately see Jackie's face, blue with cold, frozen in that final expression of hurt and betrayal. Instead, you see Shauna's dark eyes, filled with a determination that borders on desperation.
You're bound together now, you and Shauna, by shared grief and secrets and the memory of a girl you both loved in different ways. It's not healthy, this codependence that's forming between you – you clinging to her as your last connection to Jackie, she holding onto you as if you might disappear at any moment – but it's what you have.
"I'll try," you whisper, not specifying what exactly you're promising. To stop sleepwalking to Jackie's grave? To stop wishing you were buried alongside her? To start living again?
Shauna seems to understand anyway. She presses her lips to your temple, a ghost of a kiss.
"That's all I'm asking," she says, and you both pretend not to notice the way her voice breaks, the way her arms tighten around you like she's afraid you might slip away even now.
Outside, the wind whips through the trees, carrying with it the memory of Jackie's laughter, the echo of her voice saying your name. But inside, in this moment, there's just you and Shauna, heartbeats synchronized, breathing together in the dark.
It's not enough. It might never be enough. But for tonight, it's all you have.
#shauna shipman x you#shauna shipman x reader#shauna yellowjackets#shauna shipman#jackie taylor x you#jackie taylor x y/n#jackie taylor x reader#yellowjackets x you#yellowjackets x reader
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am i allowed to cry?
steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: [2.8k]
warnings: cursing, allusion to depression and anxiety, reader nearly has a mental breakdown over the stress of work/school/and life, steve comes to the rescue don't worry (honestly just wrote this because seasonal depression combined with school and work and life is real as fuck and we all need some comfort), also semi proof-read, sorry!
summary: it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, something too heavy for you to bear all alone, but you do, anyway. and when you finally collapse under pressure, the last person you want to worry is your boyfriend steve, but he’s your safe space, and all he ever wants you to know is that he’s going to be there for you through smiles and tears.
The fatigue settled under your eyes and in the depths of your bones like a heavy weight pulling you down. There was an exhaustion seeping from the inside out, eating you alive until you were merely a shell of yourself. Your stomach twisted in knots unsolvable even with the help of sleep or tea—you felt beyond defeated with no way out.
It didn’t matter where you were and how ‘fine’ you thought you were. The feeling of dread became embedded into your entire existence and it was getting harder to keep up the act and blame it all on school or work. Perhaps it started there, but slowly and surely did the feeling morph into every avenue you steered towards in order to escape.
Your hangouts with friends suddenly turned into an inner panic attack of sorts, feeling the need to keep up with everyone who was doing so well whilst you were barely making it out alive.
Family dinners then turned into interrogations, where they poked and prodded probably with the best intent to figure out why you were so absent, but it all just felt like an attack coming from left and right.
No matter how hard you tried to keep up the facade of being fine and telling everyone they were making a big deal out of nothing, you knew you were moments away from falling apart. At this rate, you were a machine breaking down piece by piece, rusting and stalling until you couldn’t move anymore.
And the absolute last person you wanted to shrink away from was your boyfriend, Steve.
He was the most supportive and present person in your life you could have ever asked for. He never doubted you in anything, and most times he was the one egging you on to go after your dreams. Telling you to take risks and go for it, because you always succeeded in everything you did, and even when it wasn’t on the first try, he knew you were bound to get a hang of it.
A special trait about him that you adored so much was his trust in you. He knew what it was like for people to always question his worth, to try to make it seem like he wasn’t capable or smart enough to make his own decisions so much so that other people had to step in and save him. But to be fair, Steve Harrington never needed to be saved—he just needed the right people around to show him it was okay to make mistakes and learn from it.
And you did just that.
When Steve didn’t know what he wanted to do after graduation, you never pestered him on to go off to college, committing himself to something he wasn’t one hundred percent certain about. Instead, you encouraged him to find his calling, to scour town in order to find different hobbies that had potential job opportunities. To volunteer and possibly shadow in order to widen his options.
You were always supportive and did your best to guide instead of control—and because of that; he was able to find a job that made him happy, surprisingly enough.
And likewise, while Steve never was the biggest fan of structured school, he guided you through your college path. Providing all the moral and emotional support he could offer you, and at times even going as far as to reading a textbook chapter alongside you to help you understand concepts that were all too confusing.
He never pushed too hard, and never made it seem like he didn’t care. There was a perfect balance between your understanding and his—a sort of tune that always was in perfect harmony…until it wasn’t.
You had been assuring Steve that while school and work were surely kicking your butt, you had it all under control, but that was far from the truth. Date nights were seemingly pushed back…not that he minded since he understood you needed to study and rest—but things were beginning to feel more off.
You avoided having him stay the night at your place or even just stopping by to drop you off some food. When you did spend time together, you were physically there, but not mentally. You listened intently to what he had to say, but when it was your turn, you shared little about what was going on with you, and diverted the questions back to him.
A lot of the time, you just seemed out of it. Too far away in your mind for him to reach you, and while he knew everyone had their off days and even off weeks, yours was becoming imminently permanent, and you were beginning to realize it, too.
You sat hunched over at your desk, eyes welling with tears as you stared down at your notes, then back to your textbook, then back to your notes once again. Nothing was making sense, and your patience was slim to none, batting your eyes as the tears fell onto the pages where you were too fed up to care.
Your mind was scattered all over the place, thinking about how you needed to make sense of the content in front of you, but also about the many deadlines of other assignments you had under your belt. On top of that, you had other responsibilities that needed your full attention, yet you sat there wondering how you were even going to complete one of them.
There was something that snapped inside of you. A guttle cry that you let out as you pushed yourself out of your desk chair and stood with your hands threaded roughly in the roots of your hair. Hot, vicious tears floated down your cheeks while you paced in circles attempting to calm yourself down, but nothing worked.
You needed Steve, even when you didn’t want him to see you like this.
He was at your doorstep not even a whole ten minutes after you had phoned him, asking if he would drop by. It was almost midnight, and usually at this hour your nose was buried deep behind textbooks and assignments, but he could just tell something was the matter.
He had asked rushed and worriedly, if everything was okay, but you refused to give him a definite answer, just sniffling back your cries and humming, telling him to come over as soon as he could. The drive was short, and yet for him it felt like eternity until he was face to face with you on your front porch.
“Baby,” His voice was rigid yet gentle, striding closer to you as his warm hands came down to hold your arms, “Hey, what’s going on? Are you hurt?” He breathed, half catching his breath from his haste, and half worried out of his mind.
He bent a little at the knees, trying to get a better look at your face in the dimly lit doorway. All the color was drained from your skin, except the red path your tears took down your cheeks and your bitten lips.
You sniffled hard, an unevenness apparent in your breathing, “N—nothing,” you lied pathetically, closing your eyes as you shook your head, “I’m just a little stressed. You don’t have to worry about m-me.”
There was lots to worry about, especially seeing you in the state that you were in. Steve had seen you stressed out many times before. Worried about running late, leaving something behind, nervous about a final exam, but nothing ever to this extent. This was more than stress, and he knew it.
“Let’s go inside and talk, yeah?” He murmured, ignoring your comment and leading you back into your home, hoping to get you to talk some more.
Guiding you to the kitchen, he switched on the lights, pulling out a chair for you to sit at the dining table while he got you a glass of cold water and some paper towels.
“Have some water, baby,” He knelt on the ground, holding the cup of water to your lips.
You sniffled, closing your eyes tightly as you tried to catch your breath before taking a sip, letting him help you, and pulling the cusp away from your lips before you could cough up. You could feel his eyes boring through you, filled with fret wanting to get down to the bottom of the situation yet letting you go at your own pace.
He took the paper towel, crumbling it up into a small ball to dab over your cheeks and under your eyes, doing his best to soak up all the tears that kept pouring. His heart shook and broke in his chest, wondering what had happened to get you to this state of no return.
“Talk to me sweetheart,” He started, letting one of his hands come to hold your trembling one, giving you a firm squeeze. “What can I do to make it better?” He implored, just wanting to make whatever that was hurting you stop.
The desperation in his voice made another sob rip out from chest, face pinching into something painful as you hung your head low and wept as quietly as you could. You felt so weak and helpless, hating that you pushed yourself to the point where you made the one person who vowed to always be there for you feel as though he wasn’t.
“Babe, shhh, hey c’mon,” He murmured, immediately wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you close to him and burying your face in his chest, “It’s okay. I’m right here, baby. S’okay.”
You hadn’t said anything just amounting yourself to a mess of tears and unspoken feelings, not knowing how you could possibly articulate what you had been going through all this time.
“I—I’m sorry,” You muffled against his chest, causing him to pull away slightly, just to look at you and shake his head wondering why you were apologizing.
“You don’t have to be sorry baby—”
“I’m fucked up, I know I am.” You blurted out, a cruelty in your voice Steve could tell was directed towards yourself, not him.
“I-I’ve been so caught up with school and work that I know I haven’t been the best girlfriend, but I swear—”
“Hey stop it.” He didn’t let you finish, furrowing his brows, determined to make you understand the words you were saying about yourself weren’t true.
“This isn’t about you not being a good girlfriend. You’re so good to me, baby and I promise you whatever it is that’s going on, isn’t because of that. Talk to me. Don’t be scared.”
He assured you with warm circles rubbed over your back, just wanting you to focus on your feelings and not on what you thought you were making him feel. The only thing that mattered to him was understanding you, and how he could fit himself into the puzzle to make it all better.
“I’m just so tired,” You broke down once again, “I don’t feel like myself anymore, and even when I look at myself…I don’t see me.” You croaked, voice breaking in between words.
“All I want to do is relax, but my brain is just on a live wire where I can’t stop thinking and then I start spiraling. If it isn’t school, then it’s work, and if it isn’t work, then I’m thinking about all of the others things I don’t have time for in between school and work.” You heaved, just feeling the panic and frustration arise at the mere conversation.
He hated how he could see the contempt you had for yourself. Fingernails biting into the palm of your hands and a deep-seated frown over your lip, as if you wanted to crawl out of your skin to be someone completely different. But there was no one like you, in his eyes. Whatever it was that you were going through he was going to stand beside you and help you get back to feeling like yourself, the girl he couldn’t imagine living without.
“I’m here for you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner,” He murmured, pushing the tear soaked strands of hair out of your face. “You work so hard all the time, you deserve a break.”
“I can’t,” you cried, shaking your head, rubbing exhaustingly at your eyes, “I physically can’t. I can’t fall behind when I already am.”
You wanted to listen to his advice, the knowing that deep down he was so very right, but you couldn’t look past the idea of letting people down and falling behind when you knew it was impossible to play catch up.
Steve knew how you operated on a one track mind to get things done and out of the way, which was obviously ideal. However, the amount of physical, emotional, and mental strain the work ethic had put you in was enough confirmation that he needed to step in before it got worse.
“Listen to me, hon,” He said tenderly, grasping your face in his hands, “You need a break. I’m not saying you have to abandon everything, but you need to take it easy on yourself. Learn how to step away and breathe. You’re going to work yourself to death if you keep this up…and you know I can’t live without you.”
His sentiment was true and sweet, something he was able to be at all times, even at times like this.
“I’m not going to let you fall behind, baby.” He promised you, swiping his thumbs over your cheeks, pressing a chaste kiss over your lips before he continued, “I’ll help you and we can take it on together, but you can’t keep stuff like this from me okay? The last thing I ever want you to feel is like you have to do it all alone.”
You sniffled, nodding as you swallowed back the lump in your throat, hiccuping slightly, “I-I know, I’m just usually so good at taking on everything, but I don’t know what happened.” You admitted with a shrug.
He nodded understandingly. “You might not feel it, but you’re overworked and that’s okay. I’m going to be here to help any way I can. With school, with work…with breaks.” He smiled softly.
“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” You stared up at him apologetically, wishing you hadn’t waited so long to tell him, knowing that he was always your number one confidant and supporter through everything.
Still, he shook his head, caressing your cheeks, “Don’t apologize, I’m here now and I promise it’s going to get better.”
He held you in his arms a little longer, letting you cry the rest of your tears into his chest, before suggesting to head up to your room. Agreeing, he grabbed a fresh cup of water to keep at your bedside before following you up the stairs and into your room.
Books and papers were sprawled out across your desk, hinting to him what had gone down before you called. He knew that school was beginning to take a toll on you with bigger projects and finals approaching, but had no idea it was getting worse and worse as the days passed by—but no longer, not with him around.
“Let me just…” You spoke under your breath, heading towards your desk to get everything cleaned up, now that Steve was spending the night and not wanting him to deal with the mess.
But he was quick to stop you, grabbing you gently by the wrist before you could even close the textbook, causing you to follow his lead to your bed.
“Hey…” He murmured, setting the cup down on the small table beside your lamp, “we’ll figure it out in the morning okay?”
“Hmm,” You hummed with a nod, letting him situate you into bed before toeing off his shoes and getting in beside you.
You turned to face him after he switched off the lamp, encasing you both in complete darkness. Eyes adjusting to the light, enough for you to make out his face, eyes closed peacefully, as his arms went instinctively around your frame, pulling you closer into him—the feeling you had been missing so desperately, wondering why you ever even thought to push it away.
“You know I’ll be here whenever you need me, all the time okay?” His voice broke the silence, nuzzling his face closer to yours, hoping you knew how true every word was.
“I know,” you promised, jutting your chin up to press a kiss to his lips that he smiled into, kissing you back a little harder wanting you to remember the feeling and that alone.
All the stress still lingered in the back of your mind, but the feeling that consumed wasn’t the fear or the exhaustion that had been weighing you down. It was the knowing that you were allowed to feel your feelings around Steve, and the security to know he was your person, rain or shine—and that in itself was enough for you to know it was going to be okay.
💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌
a/n: very short one shot in honor of seasonal depression doing its big one on me...but don't worry im surviving through my safe space fiction characters!!! i hope you are all doing well and thank you again for sticking around!
taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3
#munsonsreputation#steve harington#steve harrington angst#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington fluff#steve stranger things#steve x y/n#steve x reader#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington#steve harrington x you#stranger things#stranger things x reader#stranger things imagine#steve harrington x reader
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You’re assigned to monitor his neural patterns. You’re supposed to keep him stable. But he starts speaking to you through the interface. You’ve never met him in person. You shouldn’t even care. But somehow, he knows your name.
You sit in the cold, humming dark of the bunker, the only light coming from the array of monitors bathing your face in spectral blue. The underground smells like rust and old circuits, a recycled metallic tang that never leaves your lungs. You’ve been down here too long. You don't remember the last time you saw the sky, real or artificial.
Your hands hover over the interface, fingers twitching from too much caffeine and too little sleep. Gojo Satoru’s neural stream dances across the screen: a cascade of biofeedback, erratic synaptic patterns that don’t line up with the others. He’s different. You’ve known that since the first night you were assigned to him. They told you to stabilise his mind. To monitor. To never engage. But the data keeps changing. He dreams too vividly. Too intentionally. And he keeps trying to reach you.
Tonight, the stream flickers in an unfamiliar rhythm—short, sharp pulses, repeating. You think it’s a glitch at first. Then you recognise the cadence. Morse code.
Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E I-S N-O-T L-O-S-T.
The blood drains from your face. You haven’t heard your real name in years, haven’t really thought about it anymore. Not since they deleted you. Not since you buried your identity beneath layers of stolen credentials and silence. You haven’t said it out loud in over a decade, and yet Gojo, somehow, has pulled it from the ash of the system.
Your fingers tremble as you check the uplink. Audio disabled. Mic off. Camera one-way only.
And then he moves.
On the main monitor, he lifts his head. Slowly. Deliberately. A shadow peels off his face as he moves, revealing bright, unblinking blue eyes so unnaturally clear they almost seem backlit, glowing faintly in the sterile light of the cell. They’re the kind of eyes that look through things. Through you. His snow-white hair falls messily across his brow, damp with sweat, strands catching the light like glass threads. His gaze drifts upward, towards the embedded lens in the ceiling. Not by accident. Not vaguely. He’s looking exactly at it. Like he knows. Like he’s always known.
“You’re not just watching me, are you?”
His voice cuts through the air like it was born in your own skull. There’s no channel open. No possible path for transmission. But you hear him. Not through the speakers. Inside you. Like an echo pressed into the bones of your mind.
Your stomach knots. It shouldn’t be possible. None of this should be possible. But there he is, staring through the screen like it’s a window. Not a barrier.
You tear off your headset, breathing hard. Your heartbeat is thunder in your ears. Fear mixes with something else, something sharp and electric. Recognition.
He knows you.
You run a trace, frantically chasing the path of the message. Firewalls, encrypted data towers, black protocols. None of it explains this. Until you find it, buried deep beneath government code, nearly fossilised.
ECHO_01.
Your code. Your old failsafe. A hidden backdoor you wrote long ago when you were still someone. Meant to preserve the humanity of the mind before the State tore it away.
You never thought it survived. But it did. Just like Gojo.
Your hand moves on its own, reaching for the mic. One word makes it out, soft and strangled.
“…Satoru.”
He blinks, and a slow, knowing smile touches his lips.
“They’re watching,” he says, as calm as if you’re old friends meeting after lifetimes. “But not like you. You see me.”
Your throat tightens. He presses a hand to the mirrored wall of his cell. Without thinking, you lift your own to the screen. The glass is cold, but your fingertips tingle like they’ve made contact.
“I’m waking up,” he says, and there’s something infinite in his voice. “But I need you to do something.”
Lights flicker overhead. Sirens whine to life, metallic and angry. Unauthorised contact detected. Protocol breach. They know.
“I need you,” Gojo whispers, “to remember who you are.”
Then he steps even closer. Slow, measured movements, like he's afraid to scare you off. The sterile light above him flickers, throwing long shadows that stretch across the walls of his containment cell. His face tilts toward the lens, and for a heartbeat, it feels like he’s looking straight through it, straight into you.
You know it’s impossible. The camera is one-way. The interface is untraceable. You're buried under a mile of concrete and dead signal. And yet—
His eyes. Those bright, glacial blue eyes. They seem to lock onto yours with impossible clarity. Like he can see your expression, read the panic in your posture, feel the way your breath catches in your chest.
He leans in closer. So close now that the strands of his snow-white hair fall into his eyes, soft and fine like ash caught in moonlight. The monitor pixelates slightly under the pressure of his proximity, but even through the static, his presence is overwhelming.
“I remember,” he says softly.
Your pulse is a drumbeat in your ears. The sirens blare overhead, sharp, mechanical alarms that tell you you’ve gone too far, that containment has been breached, that someone is coming. But none of that feels real. Only his voice feels real.
“I remember what they took from you,” he breathes. “From us.”
Your hand is still pressed against the screen, trembling now. You don’t know why, but something inside you cracks. A fragment of something long buried rises to the surface, an image you can’t place, a laugh you don’t remember making, the echo of warmth in a world that turned cold long ago.
Gojo doesn’t flinch as the lights around him dim and flicker. He just keeps watching you.
“I remember the garden,” he whispers, barely audible beneath the shriek of the alarms. “The light in your eyes. You said we weren’t meant to be weapons. We believed that, once.”
Your breath stutters. A tear slips down your cheek before you even realise it’s there. Your fingers curl against the glass.
“I need you to wake up,” he says, voice like smoke and snow. “Because I can't do this without you.”
Then everything goes black. Feed terminated. Bunker silent.
But the silence doesn’t feel empty.
Because deep beneath the layers of dead code and static, his voice still pulses in your mind.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you
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Pilot will NEVER write about the Knightwood holding Weiss affectionately-
To itself, the Knightwood is a tree. Nothing more. Nothing less. To the Afterans, the Knightwood is a guardian, a protector, a being stirred to move from its slumber when the defenseless need help.
To Weiss Schnee, the Knightwood is more akin to a grave site.
She used to hate the boy named Jaune Arc. He was annoying and persistent and he lied about who he was. Weiss Schnee fought every moment of her life to attend Beacon, and Jaune Arc cheated and lied and waltzed into the school without any of the struggles she and everyone else endured to attend.
She used to hate the boy named Jaune Arc. She used to be a lot of things.
Jaune Arc was her friend. Is her friend, because even now sitting at the base of the tree that is his grave she can’t accept that he’s gone. It’s only now, gazing up at the branches above her that she wonders if she wanted them to be more than friends.
He was annoying, but brave. Persistent, but good. Stubborn to a fault and a better man than he ever gave himself credit for. She hated the boy, but she’d come to admire the man, love him even
He saved her life once.
She felt his sun bright soul guiding her back from the shadow of death. Warmth and light and life and she felt the breath of love in the ocean of his soul. What did this place do to him that his light became so dimmed?
Weiss rests a hand on the trunk of the tree. Beside the chest plate embedded in the wood, battered and rusted by time and loss.
“You’re a good person, Jaune,” Weiss murmurs. She feels like an idiot, talking to a tree, but for Jaune she will endure it. “Take as long as you need to believe it, I’ll be here.”
The branches tremble above her, sighing in what she hopes is relief. The roots creak and groan and press a little more securely around her. She can almost imagine the warmth of his embrace.
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With a grunt they come to a stop at some sort of solid surface imbedded into the hill. Hydra groans and lays flat on their back, looking up at the overcast sky. His vision needs a moment to catch up and recalibrate back into one point of focus.
What a fucking great birthday this has been turning out to be, eh?
Slowly, Hydra sits up and rubs at their aching joints. Their neck needs to be looked at and he is in need of a good shower when he gets back to his shed. Probably a good dusting of his current gear. That would be a good way to end today. Getting a nice warm bath and snuggling up into bed with some comfortable clothes…
That trail of thought ends as he finishes turning around to stare at the object jutting out of the face of the hill.
A distorted face stares back at him. Eaten away synthetic skin and broken eyes revealing a faceless train.
“WOAH- ACK!” Hydra begins to scream but tumbles backwards on their butt. They fall over onto their back with a surprised ‘oof!’
They quickly find their bearings and scramble away from the scrapped train. His breathing hitches as he stares from a safe distance.
A faceless train with corroded and dirty armor and exposed inner workings sits calmly with much of their chest and legs embedded into the dirt. Its jaw is missing a screw and wide open. Sharp triangle locomotive teeth in need of a good shine and sharpening. Hair mattered and chewed up by local pests. Grass, vines, and other plant life twisting atop of what remained of their clothes and armor.
Hydra looks down at the train’s legs and notices more pieces of the train half-buried in the earth. Wires, bolts, nuts, steel, iron, chunks, cloth…
A racing helmet.
Tentatively, the hydrogen tanker crawls towards the rusted helmet. He wipes away at some grime and dirt to reveal the train’s numbers: 2-6-4
A shaky breath escapes him. Steam locomotive wheels in his head churn like gears in his head.
Oh.
He brushes more dirt and crust off of the helmet. It’s burnt here and there with rusting but it’s a clear replica of a steam locomotive.
Now he sits on his knees and holds the helmet in disbelief. Hydra’s eyes drift back towards the decaying train. A racer. A steam locomotive.
Oh.
[From the fan writing 'Another Believer' by AlmondCakeFrosting. Only viewable with an AO3 account.]
#mvf art#stex fic another believer#mvf writing#rusty the steam engine#hydra the hydrogen tanker#hydra the hydrogen truck#stex rusty#stex hydra#starlight express#stex#stex revival#tendersteam#hydrosteam#consider this a test for posting my writing stuff since. ya know. my account is locked for protection#final chapter's coming soon so i wanted to finish this drawing#horror/#eyes/#traditional art
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drive you insane | noah sebastian | 09
adult content | minors do NOT interact.
⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. noah sebastian X psychiatrist!Reader.
⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. a mysterious new patient arrives at the Grimshade sanatorium and you have been tasked with taking care of his case.
⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). disturbing environment, violence, unconventional treatments, manipulation, questionable relationships, explicit sex, submission, knife play, blood play and profanity.
Darkness and emptiness.
The silence whispered a sinister melody, akin to the climax of an orchestra about to announce its final act. A warning. A harbinger of tragedy. With every step forward, the tension seemed to take shape—something invisible yet almost tangible, coiling around her ankles and guiding her deeper into the rotten belly of the Hidden.
The blackness was absolute, perverse. Walking through it was an act of blind faith, a challenge to fate itself. The damp walls exuded a nauseating scent of mold and rust, and the air felt heavier here, as if saturated with everything this place had ever witnessed.
Her steps were firm, but her clenched fists betrayed her apprehension. Her gaze swept the corners, searching for meaning in the gloom. You’d never had exceptional eyesight, and now, shrouded in darkness, you felt even more vulnerable. Only the occasional flashes of light through the dusty stained-glass windows allowed your eyes to glimpse your surroundings—rusty cell bars, cracks in the ceiling, and puddles on the floor, glistening suspiciously.
Water.
Blood.
Whatever it was, there was no way to tell.
The air carried a cocktail of repulsive odors: oxidized metal, rotting food, sweat embedded in the ancient walls. But among these nauseating notes, something familiar and disturbingly out of place emerged—a warm, clean, woody scent.
Recognizing that smell was almost instinctive. You didn't need recent proximity to know that very well. It was imprinted in your memory as much as the insolent looks, the sharp irony, and the calculated silence that always came with it.
Noah.
He stood out in this place in a way that was almost unreal. While everything around them decayed, he remained untouched, as if the surrounding rot could never reach him. He was beautiful. Frighteningly beautiful. He did not display the expected degradation of someone imprisoned in Grimshade’s forsaken asylum. No grime embedded in his skin, no traces of exhaustion in his features. He always smelled good. Always composed. He almost made her forget where was.
Almost.
You shook your head slowly. No. You couldn't be sinking into this. Without realizing it, you had been ensnared in a sticky, filthy web with no escape. Rune was right. You were completely obsessed.
The rest of the world had dissolved into an insignificant backdrop. Your other patients? Nonexistent. Your parents? A distant echo. Your colleagues? Faded figures in an irrelevant scene. You couldn't even remember the last time you had left the asylum for anything beyond obligation.
Everything in you had rotted—and Noah was the infection.
Even in sleep, your mind burned with the sensation of wasting precious hours of progress. When awake, you wanted to be with him. You wanted to observe him, dissect him, dismantle him piece by piece until you understood every layer he so skillfully wove to keep others at a distance.
It was a hunger that grew, voracious and insatiable. You wanted to save him. Needed to save him. Something in you screamed that he was here by mistake, that his caged existence was an error only you could correct.
And then everything became nothing.
A biting cold seized your neck, stealing your breath before a scream could escape. Your eyes widened in pure shock as brute force yanked you without warning, your feet stumbling in desperation to stay upright. You tried to grasp whatever was pressing against your skin—scratch, pull, anything—but the chain was merciless.
With a dry metallic snap, iron met the cell bars.
Your ragged breathing had barely steadied when his voice reached you—low, almost amused.
"Doctor…"
The echo slithered down the empty corridor, vibrating through your flesh like a feverish shiver.
"Noah…" You gasped, your voice trembling with the shock still carved into your bones. "This isn't funny at all. Let me go immediately!"
"And who said anyone here is playing?"
The response came sharp, a low and husky tone, almost animalistic. The dim light filtering into the cell touched his eyes in a wicked way, casting shadows that made his face seem deeper, darker—less human.
Every word he spoke was followed by the dragging sound of the chain against the floor, a sharp, grating noise that vibrated through your teeth. The metal pressed against your neck, tightening with his every movement, forming a cruel X across your back. You tried to move, but he had already closed the space around you. There was no escape.
He was pure, contained hatred. Tense muscles, clenched fists, breath ragged with raw fury. He knew you had been ordered not to return. He knew you were supposed to have left him behind.
And that enraged him.
But the fear crawling up your spine mixed with something dangerous. Something toxic. Something that burned and corroded.
Because even with the cold iron biting into your skin, even with the unspoken promise of destruction thickening the air between you…
You still wanted him.
"I thought I was clear when I said I didn’t want you here. I made my dissatisfaction explicit about your insistence on meddling in my life, but I have the impression you have serious trouble following orders."
His voice cut deep into the silence, a grave, weighty tone. With a single tug of the chain, your body was yanked forward, the pressure of the metal digging into your skin, forcing you to lift your chin and meet his gaze.
The distance between you was minimal. His scent, the heat radiating from his tense skin, the rage simmering beneath every rigid muscle—it all enveloped you. It hurt. But your pride hurt more.
"Here, I am the psychiatrist, Noah. Not the other way around." Your voice was sharp, like a blade that doesn’t hesitate when it cuts. "So you don’t get to decide what is or isn’t part of my job."
His eyes narrowed, dark sparks igniting in his expression. But you continued.
"But I imagine there’s a special reason for this attack today. Your little sister is getting married… isn’t she? You failed to break the cycle, and it made you lose your mind."
Noah’s nostrils flared. His expression was pure wildfire. You shuddered but didn’t back down, even as he leaned in, your faces so close that your noses brushed.
"This story doesn’t belong to you," he growled, the sound reverberating in your chest. "Stay out of it."
"And who’s going to stop me?"
His laughter was low, cruel, almost a warning. When he turned his attention back to you, your lungs felt heavy, your mouth went dry. The pressure between your legs made you realize what he was doing.
Noah had wedged himself between your thighs, using his body as a barrier, a divider, a suffocating tether keeping you from moving.
"It’s bold of you to play truth or dare with a murderer, don’t you think?" His voice was a sharp challenge. "If you were as smart as you seem, you’d have realized by now that you have far too many similarities with my victim. And that I know how to trace profiles… repeat patterns."
His eyes roamed your face, slow. Too slow. As if mapping every detail, every flaw, every fear.
His fingers came next, gliding along the side of your face with a terrifying softness. A touch that made your entire body react the wrong way.
"What makes you so confident that you can dismiss the possibility that I might kill you, doctor?"
His whisper burned against your skin. Your heart nearly exploded.
"The absolute certainty that you’re not a murderer." Your voice came out steady, even with the blood pounding in your throat.
Noah arched a brow slightly, a flicker of interest gleaming in his gaze. But you didn’t yield to the provocation.
"You clearly have traits of someone unstable, someone who masks repressed emotions behind insane desires and well-rehearsed apathy. But I don’t believe you’re easily manipulated. You’re not the kind of person who hands over your mind on a silver platter to just anyone."
The tightness of the chain remained the same, but something in him shifted.
"You’ve always been the leader. You’re the one who orchestrates the situations."
Noah’s eyes gleamed in the dim light, the shadow of a smile curling his lips. The tip of his fingers traced over your skin in a way that was almost tender, but something was off—something far too twisted in that touch.
"If I didn’t know that fear and insecurity seep from your very core, I might actually fall for this little psychiatrist act of yours, desperate to prove your worth," Noah declared, his low timbre reverberating like a warning. "But that doesn’t make you any less interesting."
You took a deep breath, feeling the chain’s pressure still firm around your body. You couldn’t give in. You couldn’t show hesitation.
"I need you to let me go. If you refuse to understand what I have to say and insist on rejecting my help because you'd rather lock yourself away in here like a coward, I believe our conversation ends here, Noah."
The smile that formed on his lips wasn’t a smile. It was a warning.
"Our conversation only ends when I say it ends, doctor."
The tip of his finger trailed slowly along the side of your neck, directly over your vein. You felt the almost ghostly touch pulse along with your blood.
And for the first time since you stepped in, you weren’t sure if you would leave in one piece.
But you didn’t back down.
Your eyes, wide at first, now gleamed with something deeper, more dangerous. Curiosity. Fascination. The quickened breath wasn’t fear; it was something warmer, something hungrier.
He noticed. And he smiled.
"You don’t understand, do you?"—his voice slipped through the air like a thread of silk. "I never just wanted to touch you. Never just wanted to feel your skin beneath mine. I want… to devour you."
He stepped forward, and you didn’t move in the tight space. The heat between you became suffocating, and you took a sharp breath as the cold press of his lips grazed your neck.
Noah crossed any boundary between reason and emotion, professional and unethical, as he slipped your coat off your shoulders, letting it fall to the damp floor.
You gasped, hesitating to pull away, but he insisted, trapping you against him, forcing his leg between yours. You hated admitting how well your body responded to it every time you remembered how wrong it was—how you could be caught at any moment.
"The scent and texture of your skin… do you have any idea how that drives me insane? How much you provoke me every time you insist on crossing my path in this hell? I tried to avoid it, but it’s like raw flesh, exposed, waiting to be torn apart, chewed, taken. Every time you speak, your voice pours hot down my throat, and I wonder what it would be like to feel it die inside my mouth."
His tongue traced along your vein as if following a precise path. You closed your eyes for a moment, as if his words were a spell sinking beneath your skin. When you opened them again, there was a different gleam in them. A shiver ran through you—but not from repulsion.
"I don’t just want you," he continued, toying with the thin strap of your blouse. "I want to consume you. I want to reduce you to something only I can possess. Every piece, every fiber, every fragment of what you are… inside me. Mixed with me. Absorbed, dissolved, forgotten by the world."
You bit your lower lip, feeling the cold of the Hidden blend with his voice, confusing your body’s reactions. His words wrapped around you, tangled in your thoughts like invisible threads pulling you deeper into the abyss.
"Because love, my dear…"—he smiled, and his teeth were like sharp blades in the dark—"love is devouring."
The silence that followed was electric. You exhaled slowly, as if waking from a trance—but with no intention of running.
"Then devour me."
The laugh that escaped him was low, guttural, as if you had just said exactly what he expected to hear.
"Oh, doctor…" The chain loosened for just a second—only to tighten again when he surged forward, crushing his lips against yours.
The impact was hard, feral. There was no space for tenderness. The kiss was brutal, a clash of wills where neither side wanted to yield. Noah gripped the chain tightly, and every movement you made to fight back only trapped you closer against him.
His taste mixed with the metallic tang in the air. It was visceral. It was wrong. It was inevitable.
His hands moved to your waist, pulling you against him, and in the next moment, his fingers were tangled in your hair, holding you firmly as he deepened the kiss.
You no longer knew if you were being overpowered or if you were willingly surrendering your own sanity.
And maybe it was too late to care.
You ached to touch him, to bury your fingers in his hair as you straddled his lap and took his lips for yourself. The need burned beneath your skin, impatient. But before you could give in to the impulse, he moved first.
The slack of the chain around your neck slid skillfully down to your wrists, binding them at the center of the X formed against your back.
He gave you no space to escape, no pause between his lips and yours. Between hungry kisses and searing bites, he alternated between claiming and marking, the metallic taste quickly spreading over your tongue.
The taste of blood mixed with metal and warm saliva, a fusion of sensations that made her dizzy. Noah left no room for air, no space for thought—he dominated, gripping her face with firm fingers while the chain around her wrists tightened even more, limiting any attempt at resistance.
You gasped against his mouth, feeling his teeth graze your lower lip before another onslaught. It was like being devoured from the inside out, as if each bite and each pull carried a piece of you into him.
Your body was rigid against the grate, a hostage to your own desire and the brutality he imprinted on every touch. Noah finally released your lips, but only enough to slide his mouth down your jaw and reach your neck.
The kisses there were even crueler—bites, slow licks over sensitive skin, as if he were branding his presence into your flesh.
"You don’t need to go anywhere, babygirl," his voice was hoarse, thick with desire, while the grip around your wrists intensified. "Not until I've tasted your flesh to the bone."
There was mockery in his tone, but something else too—something dark, something hungry.
And you knew, in that instant, that you were dangerously close to losing any shred of control you had left.
The thin blouse you wore felt like nothing more than delicate lace, barely covering your body, the nervous sweat making everything more intense. You were completely at his mercy, vulnerable, in front of a possible killer who could do whatever he wanted with your body. It was sordid on so many levels, but you were trapped in the trance he had cast over you.
Psychopaths are seductive, as if sweetening their words with a special, cursed honey. They mold themselves to their environment, adapting to the situation with the cold precision of a lizard. If Noah was determined to make you feel, he would.
He would do whatever he wanted.
Noah moved in slowly, a satisfied smile playing on his lips as he observed your skin, like an artist examining a piece of work yet to be sculpted. The glint in his eyes, like a burning flame, was almost tangible. He ran his fingers along your arms, immobilized by the chains, feeling the smoothness of your skin, and you realized his need to mark every part of you, to make your flesh something more than just a body—but an extension of what he desired.
"Perfect..." he murmured, as if speaking to himself, but you heard it, and the sound of his voice made your breath heavier, denser. He pressed the edge of the knife against the inside of your wrists, the most vulnerable points closest to your blood, and the blade gleamed under the dim light, promising something deeper, more intimate.
"Your skin..." he said, and the blade moved slowly to your neck, tracing along the line of your collarbone, the cold metal teasing your sensitive flesh. "It needs to be shaped, like a piece of flesh that only I can sculpt."
You felt the touch of the blade—cold and precise—but something inside you began to respond. The nervousness didn’t fade; instead, it merged with something else, something warmer, deeper. The pain had not yet come, but the fear was there—and with it, the excitement you could no longer deny.
He traced a subtle path with the knife over your skin, the cut not yet happening, but the touch of the blade created a growing tension. You felt your heart pounding harder, your breath quickening, and he watched, as if he knew exactly what he was doing.
"I can do anything I want with you, can't I?" he whispered, his voice rough and calm. "I can tear your skin and see what hides inside you. I can touch your deepest fears and turn them into pleasure. All you need to do is give in."
The blade slid lower on your neck, toward your collarbone, and you felt the edge lightly cut into your skin. Blood began to well up, warm and thick, and the sensation was like a flame igniting beneath your skin. The pain was mild, but the pleasure of being touched, of being possessed in this way, came quickly, without warning.
"Feel this..." he murmured, and the blade moved to the other side of your neck, as if creating a map of scars, a game of marks and touches. The blood trickled slowly, and you felt every drop, as if it was a part of you now being given to him—something of yours he would consume and make his own.
The blade pressed a little deeper, and the blood began to flow more freely. The heat in your body started to mix with the pain, and you realized you were beginning to lose yourself, to forget the limits, to surrender to this moment, to this game. He smiled, satisfied with the change in your eyes.
"It’s going to be okay," he said, almost tenderly, while the blade rested against your skin—threatening and affectionate at the same time. "You’re going to give me everything."
The warmth of the blood against your skin seemed to intensify every sensation, every touch. The marks he left were there, engraved, like a macabre masterpiece on your flesh. Noah knelt, and with almost ritualistic precision, ran the tip of his lips over the cuts, feeling the liquid trickle down, absorbing it with a sadistic pleasure.
When he finally pressed his lips to yours, the kiss was a mix of heat and iron, the taste of metal still strong, as if every movement of your mouths was tracing a line between pain and desire. The heat of your bodies colliding, the pressure of the chain, and the scent of blood in the air... all of it created an atmosphere of pure abandon.
You weren’t sure who was more lost there—him, with the ferocity of his possession, or you, immersed in this sick and irresistible game he imposed.
And then, without pulling his lips from yours, he whispered, almost like a challenge, "Now, who will be consumed?"
Noah followed the trail of blood trickling from your collarbone, slithering between your breasts and staining the thin fabric of your blouse. His tongue brushed your skin, sending shivers through you, but he continued his path without lingering on your ragged breath, descending toward your waist. When he slid down the fabric of your lower clothing, you tried to arch your body, but the chains tensed, threatening to deprive you of air.
Your gaze lifted to the ceiling, where imperfections in the paint spread like random marks on a neglected canvas. Meanwhile, he dedicated himself to sculpting the soft skin of your inner thigh, each movement marked by meticulous precision, where his tongue followed soon after until it halted at your groin.
He inhaled your intimate scent almost like an antidote finally found, exposing you even more. His lips trailed over your flesh until they stopped at your clit, but Noah only smiled at your frustrated groan as he straightened and stood once again.
Noah’s long fingers closed around the excess of the chain, pulling it firmly and forcing your body to follow his steps. He listened to your deep breath and savored the sound for a few seconds before sliding his index finger gently along the side of your face, where your unease was visible. The absence of light made it impossible to see his expressions, and this uncertainty left you vulnerable—you had no idea what would come next.
With slow, almost studied movements, Noah traced the shape of your lips with his index and middle fingers. Instinctively, your mouth parted, a silent invitation he accepted without hesitation, sliding his fingers inside. Tilting your face upward, you swirled your tongue around his skin, enveloping him in wet, devouring heat before sucking them slowly, feeling them slip from your lips with a faint pop. He watched, satisfied.
You had become a puppet in his hands, every movement reduced to the dance imposed by the chains. Any slip, any hesitation, and he would tighten them again, reaffirming his control, subjugating your body. With firm pressure, he guided you downward, forcing you to your knees before him. It was at that moment that something inside you dissolved—the conflict, the resistance, the illusion of autonomy. You felt between your legs that maybe it wasn’t so bad to be here. Maybe this was exactly where you wanted to be.
Noah made that moment entirely about him, and deep down, perhaps that was what you craved—to be his, to serve him, to surrender to the certainty that you didn’t need to think, decide, or resist.
Just obey.
Just let yourself be guided.
His free hand slid along the waistband of his pants, and it wasn’t long before his erection sprang free, quickly controlled by his grip. You gasped as the tip brushed against your lips, moving slowly as if urging you to analyze its texture first. In the small space your lips formed as they parted, he pushed inside until your jaw popped with the demand, but you took him in.
It was impossible to fit all of him inside your mouth—he was thick and large enough that the sides of your lips stretched as if threatening to tear. You held firm; it wasn’t as if you had done this many times before, but you didn’t want to seem pathetic in front of him, and that drove you to try harder.
With the help of your tongue, you slicked him with saliva, making it easier for his cock to slide in and out in the repetitive rhythm he set as you sucked him. From the sounds Noah made, he seemed comfortable—he pushed your head down further, and everything he carried struck the back of your throat at once. Noah gripped the strands at your nape tightly and fucked your mouth with the urgency of someone who had craved this.
His skin was hot, smooth, and the texture against your tongue had never felt so pleasant. You traced him with your tongue along his length and aided him by opening your mouth wider when he demanded you take him whole. You ignored the pain in your scalp and the burning in your throat—you only focused on sucking him while your eyes lifted upward. Seeing the agonized expression on his face and hearing his almost guttural moan spurred you on even more.
Your legs trembled strangely, your brain losing its sense as if the oxygen had been stolen from it for a few seconds, and down your thighs, the proof trickled that you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
You felt him pulse inside your mouth, and before he could come, Noah pulled out of you, lifted you off the ground with a swift motion, and shoved you against the cell bars, back to him. It wasn’t long before you felt the weight of his body behind you again, and your eyes closed as the tip of his nose brushed along the side of your face. Noah ran his tongue over your sweat-dampened skin, inhaled your scent, and growled as he lifted one of your legs.
"You’re completely unstable…" you sighed, shaking your head as if you could deny to yourself the grotesque mistake you were making.
"Ah, doctor… it’s people like me who shape, feed, and addict people like you."
"Never."
"You can deny it if it makes you feel better, but you can't pretend you've been the same since you set foot here..." He leaned in slightly, and you felt the heat of his voice against your skin. "I warned you. You're already in the worst of hells. This place is cursed, it will drain your mind, blur the line between reality and illusion... You'll go insane on your own, just by being here."
His whisper chilled your stomach, a sharp shiver climbing up your spine.
"And that's not the worst thing you'll see or do just by being inside. And the worst part? There's nothing you can do about it." He laughed, a low, almost amused sound. "Nothing but enjoy your last days of lucidity."
Discomfort crawled under your skin like needles, a strange, almost narcotic sensation. You hesitated, but his touch did not. Noah kept brushing his lips along the side of your face, his breath warm, provocative, while his fingers moved between your legs, preparing your entrance. You were so wet… his lips had a perverse magnetism, and your body responded as if your mind no longer had any authority over it. Your eyes rolled back slowly, your chest rising and falling, as his voice became a distant hum.
Because surely he was lying.
"Thanks for the warning, but I can take care of myself." Your voice came out low but firm, as if trying to remember who you were before stepping into this place.
Noah smiled, biting lightly at the corner of your jaw before whispering:
"Good, doctor. Because that's all you have in here. Yourself."
With his words came the sudden thrust that forced him inside you, a cry escaping with the searing sensation of his cock tearing through the walls of your pussy, a feeling that lingered until you adjusted to his size. Noah toyed with the tight space and pushed in even further, prolonging the sting.
You tilted your head back until it rested beside his face and saw, from the corner of your eyes, his teeth sinking into your shoulder. Another scream escaped and died on your lips as he tightened the grip of the chain around your neck. He pulled, driving himself deeper, limiting the space between you, milking you and tearing at your walls as if claiming the narrowness you insisted on keeping from him.
The air was thick with the scent of sweat and skin rubbing against skin; he defiled every part of you just as he said he would, he was as filthy as he claimed to be, but you couldn't feel more satisfied as he filled you completely.
Every now and then, you glanced around with the tension of someone afraid of being caught. Noah ran his tongue over the deep imprint of his teeth on your shoulder and traced it down to your neck. He had no mercy for your moans, nor for the way you whimpered until a subtle tear slipped from your left eye—he thrived on it.
This was wrong.
You were being fucked by your most problematic patient, the one hiding a mystery you were determined to uncover as if it had become your life's purpose. The way he was possessed by lust, from his movements to his sick gaze, distracted you more than it should—and maybe that was his plan—but you hardly cared.
This version of him, what he became when he was alone with you and willing enough, was the most disturbing and fascinating thing you had ever known.
Your body was on the verge of explosion, Noah filled you entirely, and you synchronized your breaths and movements into a silent, torturous dance that smelled of metal. He had taken complete control of your body, even your moans obeyed his permission. Noah pressed you against the cell to go even deeper, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes and stare at the ceiling above.
He clearly noticed when your legs faltered for a few seconds as he increased the pace of his thrusts. Noah kept you steady and upright to take everything he had to give you, and you welcomed his cock, pulsing more and more, ready to collapse inside you. He moaned louder and louder, and you felt his muscles tensing.
The immersion into hell and the escape from a sea of lava shared the same essence as the sensation consuming you now. It burned. It throbbed. A cruel numbness spread through your nerves, and you wanted to capture every fragment of what you felt, to hold onto them inside you, to relive them later, tomorrow, and after, and after... Like the merciless ecstasy of the worst stimulant, he pushed you beyond the limits of reality, blurred your vision, made stars explode before your eyes.
He drowned you along with him in a perverse plane.
As if, in that instant, he bound you to this place with invisible chains, condemning you to become part of him.
Noah didn't want you to forget.
He wanted you to live it through the marks on your skin.
He wanted to fuse you to Grimshade and condemn you as he was.
Leaning against the back gates of the Hidden, you wrapped your trembling fingers around your own wrists, feeling the rapid pulse reverberate beneath the marked skin. You couldn’t believe that had just happened. Your chest rose and fell erratically, and in a desperate reflex, your teeth sank into the inside of your lip, stifling a pained whimper. Every step made the incisions on your thighs burn, sharp little flames reminding you of every touch, every moment.
The front garden was drowning in a sea of patients, and you quickened your pace along the side discreetly, not daring to look back. Your steps were quick, almost unsteady, as if an invisible force was pulling you away, while a cold weight crawled up your spine. You felt his eyes burning against your back, as if he was tracking you without even moving.
From the corner of your eye, a glimpse—Noah was finally crossing the common entrance, disappearing inside the Hidden.
Your heart pounded erratically against your ribs, and every fiber of your body felt charged with a tension that refused to dissipate. You shut your bedroom door behind you, feeling the weight of that night still clinging to your skin, as if Noah were there, looming over you.
But he wasn’t.
You walked to the bathroom, locking yourself in with a sharp click. The urgency of the shower was irrational, almost obsessive. You turned on the hot water and stepped under the stream, feeling the heavy drops punish your skin. Your fingers traced over the incisions, and every touch brought back the memory of him—of the blade, of the slow, controlled pressure, of the venomous whisper that coiled around your senses.
Your eyes squeezed shut. Your head tilted forward. This would never happen again.
When you emerged from the shower, you wrapped yourself in a nightgown and took a deep breath, staring at your own reflection in the fogged-up mirror. What you saw there didn’t seem exactly… yours. But you blinked, pushed the thoughts away, and forced yourself to act as if nothing had happened. As if you could simply move on.
You lay down, closing your eyes, and within seconds, sleep swallowed you whole.
Until something woke you.
A breath against your ear.
Your entire body tensed. Your heart skipped a beat.
It was the same ticking and dragging sound from the night Tom Hallow was found dead.
You bolted upright in bed, your eyes sweeping the dark room, and a growing agony gripped your chest, a cold tightness that suffocated. You needed to get out. Now.
Without bothering to change clothes, you crossed the room and opened the door. The hallway was deserted, the dim lights casting distorted shadows on the floor. The air was freezing, biting, raising goosebumps on your skin.
Your bare feet made little noise against the floorboards as you descended the stairs. But then—you stopped.
On the other side of the window, something moved.
Your gaze locked onto the tower beside you.
And that’s when you saw it.
A body. Standing at the window.
The shock hit you like an electric current. Your chest heaved in panic, your mind snapping with the certainty that this couldn’t be happening.
But it was.
Before you could react, the body plummeted.
Your scream tore through the night, echoing until it faded.
Without thinking, without processing, your feet carried you forward, bursting through the sanatorium’s main doors. Inside, lights flickered on in the windows, voices rose in a growing murmur, but none of it mattered.
Your gaze was fixed on the rocky ground. On the lifeless body, on the head crushed against the stones.
And then, you saw it.
On his wrist, a small bracelet.
The name engraved there made your stomach sink.
Elias Faulkner had committed suicide right in front of you.
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༊*·˚ FOREVER WINTER (IF YOU GO) — task force 141 x reader
09 — I'M HIGHER THAN THE HOPES THAT YOU BROUGHT DOWN
featuring. simon 'ghost' riley + johnny 'soap' mactavish + kyle 'gaz' garrick + john 'bravo six' price + (non-endgame phillip graves)
warnings. nsfw, fem!reader, fmmmm, enemies to lovers, slow burn, polyamory, ghostsoap, pricegaz, alerudy, heavy angst, requited unrequited love, graphic violence
series masterlist. read on ao3. read on wattpad.
<- previous part | next part ->
When you had taken down the organisation by Shepherd’s side, it was the beginning of everything.
The first time you had drawn someone else’s blood was with a rifle in your hand and a vengeance burning in your veins. A single order from your General – your only support – to kill anyone with the organisation’s uniform. Anyone who raised a scope to you.
It’s difficult, usually, to remember what had happened.
Sometimes, in your deepest of sleeps, the nightmares of your past came to haunt you. Flashes of blood on your skin, corpses underneath your feet, the crackle of a radio sounding in an empty room.
A congratulations from your General.
Congratulations for seeking revenge, and executing it like a soldier well-trained. Another cog in the military’s rusting machine. A weapon for them, more than a human with free will and determination.
You’d thrown up, after it all.
Heaving, sweating, crying, the endless guilt of what you’d just done. Were you no better than them? Sure, they’d killed your mother, but you had just carried out the same in turn. Tenfold. They had families that they’d never report back to. Families that they’d never get to say goodbye to. Dinner left untouched.
Shepherd had pat your back – then, he’d been in service, active duty. You hadn’t known it, but taking down the organisation was his last mission.
You never even learnt the name of the organisation. Shepherd had said that it was better that way, to detach yourself, not get yourself muddled with the logistics of it all. You weren’t meant for that. You were meant for weaponry and death and destruction.
That night, when you laid awake in the small camp set-up just a few klicks out from the organisation's site, you determined that you wouldn’t take another’s life without certainty. Unless it was for defence.
That night, you’d known that you would ask to be trained for field medicine.
Oh, how naive you had been. Young, aching for a chance to get revenge, to get what you felt you deserved.
Ten days later, you met one Phillip Graves.
A day after that, he offered you a place within the beginning of his mercenary company.
Half an hour after you signed the contract, General Shepherd announced that he was no longer suitable for active duty.
How naive indeed.
*
You think, in the very back of your mind, with the smallest grip you have on thought, that you’ve been carried to safety by men more than you have in your life, these past few days.
In and out, your mind wavers, senses completely gone, consciousness an impossible thing.
Minutes, hours, days. You’re not sure. How does time even work? What is time? Are you alive? Is this death? Another third, universally unknown state, an in between?
These past few days, the utter mess your life has become, has it finally worn you out? Destroyed you from the inside, shrapnel embedded into your flesh? A direct hit, a ticking time bomb gone wrong? A suicide mission with no preparation, no warning, no hope?
If you could, you’d cry.
Let tears fall down your cheeks, crystalline and pure against your dirtied and sinful skin. A mocking of all things good and right and beautiful.
Oh to be beautiful. To be right. To be good.
Heaven would taste like fairy floss melting against your tongue, you think. Sweet and pink and soft. It would furl around your tongue, season your mouth with the feeling of cotton and freedom.
White.
White blinds every inch of your body, the darkness of your eyelids lit with the shade. Chemicals fill the air, a stagnant, all too damning smell. Beeping, too, a constant background noise as you slowly come to.
Hospital – or, at the very least, a Med Bay. It’s something quite familiar, but the feeling of being a patient in one is a very rare instance for you.
That feeling of blood, sticky against your face and arm, has gone. Instead, the itch of fabric and bandage replaces it, an IV drip attached to your inner arm an annoying sting. Your hair feels as if it’s been carefully spread over the pillow underneath your head, a blanket wrapped over your form.
If your spatial awareness is at all correct, you think you can sense a few other people in the room, too. Soft murmuring chimes in over the beeping, now, as you return to full consciousness.
“Can’t believe all three of ‘em are down.”
Gaz – that honey-esque, smooth voice instantly has you recognising the Sergeant. From where his voice is coming from, he seems to be sat beside your bed.
“It’s not your fault, Kyle.”
Price. Captain. He sounds… softer than you’ve ever heard him. Lost, maybe, upset. Disappointed? It’s hard to place, his tone, but it seems almost forlorn.
“Had a whole fuckin’ team of Marines and we couldn’t make it to ‘im in time. If it wasn’t for her–”
“I know, Sergeant,” Price snaps, shutting down the younger man’s nervous, distressed rambling. A scrape of a chair sounds, the sound of pacing footfalls a moment later. “There wasn’t anything we could do – and it’s not like any of ‘em are dying, now are they?”
“Don’t act like this didn’t affect you either, Captain,” Gaz bites back in return, his chair, too, scraping against the linoleum floor. “I heard your yell clear as day.”
“I can and will write you up for insubordination, Garrick,” Price warns, stern and cold.
Gaz’s responding laugh is biting, grating. “No, you won’t, Price. Because if you do that, you’ll have to report the others too. You really wanna risk losing us all?”
“Don’t test me.”
“Thought you liked that about me, Cap.”
“Kyle –”
“Good morning to you, too.”
Both men turn, then, to look at you with wide eyes. With a small groan, you move to sit up, eyes burning with the sudden overhead lights. Your shoulder aches, your cheek, too, but not as badly as they had before.
“Be careful, don’t –” Gaz goes to say, moving towards you, before you show him your palm.
“I’m fine. I know my limits, Gaz,” you say, a small reprimand as you shift into a comfortable position. “I’ll be out of this bed within the hour if I can help it.”
“You dislocated your shoulder,” Price says, insistent, brows furrowed as he looks down at you, arms folded over his chest. “It’s in a wrap. You’re lucky, Colonel, that they could perform the surgery here.”
Your brows raise.
“Surgery? How long was I out?” You frantically ask, sitting up straighter, wincing when you bump your shoulder. Your mind races with theories, fear trickling down your spine like a cold vice. There was so much you had to do – had to investigate, now.
“Only about a day. You were under anaesthesia – and your body near shut down,” Gaz leans forward as he sits, elbows on his knees. “You were awake, under high-intensity stress, for nearly four days.”
Four days? Had it really been that long? What had only felt like a day – it had been four?
You must show your inner panic on your face, because Price takes a step closer, hand moving to rest comfortably on your shoulder. He has a calming, understanding tilt to his lips that you appreciate. His eyes examine your body, before his blue eyes meet yours.
“Graves is already planning his next movement,” he says, gruff and true. His hand squeezes. “We were playing checkers, seems like he wants to play chess.”
The beep of the machines sat beside your bed and the overall feeling of hospital and gauze and injury has you realising something. A flash in the back of your mind, a bell ringing for you like a dog on a leash.
“Where’s Soap and Ghost?”
Price and Gaz share a look, before Gaz flits a nervous grimace to you. “Ghost… refused to be treated unless he was put in the same room as Soap. Soap, is, well…”
“Get yer bloody hands off me, aye am fine, let me see ‘er–”
Soap’s voice carries down the hallway, the standard-issues curtains surrounding your small area doing nothing to block the sound. Your eyebrows shoot to your hairline, Gaz buries his face in his hands, and Price heaves a long-suffering sigh, muttering something under his breath about decorum.
“Sergeant, the doctor’s –”
“Tell Sarah tha’ aye can bloody well handle maself!”
A crashing noise follows the last statement, along with the sound of confused yelling, before the curtain surrounding you gets ripped open by none other than Soap MacTavish.
His grown-out faux-mohawk is messy, obviously having been laid on for a fair bit, his eyes wide and chest pounding in sweeping movements. Fist clenched in the scratchy fabric of the curtain, his frantic eyes focus on Price and Gaz, respectively, before landing on you. His shoulders loosen, and he lets go of the curtain as he trails down your form, analysing for any injuries or a single hair out of place.
“Sweetheart,” he breathes, sounding all too like that single nickname is a lifeline, “Yer alright.”
You softly shake your head, disbelieving and confused and shocked and.
And maybe slightly grateful. Lucky, even, to have someone care for you enough to act like your very presence is their saviour. Like your blood is as worthy as their own, your lungs virtually theirs, too.
“I’m not the one that nearly fell to my death,” you exasperate, voice as soft and vulnerable as you’ve heard it. At the very least, the most open you’ve sounded since your mother was around. “Did you just kill one of the nurses to get here?”
Soap’s creeping smile turns into a full, toothy grin as he shakes his head. “Nah. That’d be Lt.”
“Fuckin’ hell,” Price mutters from beside you, along with Gaz’s choked off laugh. You can’t help your own private smirk.
“And here I was, thinking you were the dog, Soap,” you tease, except for the first time, it isn’t with the intention of goading. Of poking the beast. You’re… teasing just for fun. Because it feels natural and right and.
Oh.
Oh.
Soap scoffs. “Aye, ye did say that, didn’t ya? Ye haven’t seen a guard dog like Mr. Lt, lass,” He taunts, freckles dusting his nose, the hospital lights doing nothing to wash his tan skin out.
He says, as if your world hasn’t been flipped over, shaken about, and sat down on your shoulders like a snowglobe.
He says, as if everything is fine and normal and not cataclysmic.
“The nurse is fine.”
Everyone, including Price, jolts where they are situated, eyes darting to where Ghost leans against the wall opposite your bed, picking at his nails.
He’s.
Unlike the balaclava, of which is all you’ve known of the bulky man, the only thing covering his features is a standard black medical mask, covering his mouth and nose. No ink stains the upper half of his face, either, and for the first time – you see his hair.
Dirty blond.
It oddly suits him, the shortly cut mess, the strands hanging over his forehead and ears. What strikes you is the lack of scars from the skin you can see, the unmarred skin, the softness of it.
He’s pretty, in a rugged, unabashed way, and what a realisation that is.
With just a black compression shirt, sleeves cut to the mid-section of his upper arms, sleeves of talented ink cover his pale skin. A snake, intricately designed, covers his left, curving around the muscle. On his right, what looks to be a Greek god, its depth shadowed with blacks and greys.
“Good to see you in one piece, too, Lieutenant,” you say, and if it was at all possible, you’d swear that sparks shoot up your spine when his deep brown eyes catch onto yours.
He raises an uncovered brow – pale and soft. “I meant what I said,” he threatens, a glint in his eye.
So, you suppose, not all has been forgiven. Your memories are shaky at best, but a few words stand out from your confrontation – kill, belonging, rank. A promise of death, but a vow of protection, too.
“What’re you talking about?” Gaz asks, looking between the two of you with a confused expression.
Neither you, nor Ghost, break eye contact as you simultaneously say; “Nothing, Gaz.”
Both Sergeants share a look, a cheeky one, the type that no one else in the room can decipher. You had seen the way that the two shared comments, winks, hits up the back of their heads. Joking and full of life, but with an unbreakable bond between them.
Yearning was becoming too familiar of a concept for you, you were finding.
“Laswell found a hit on some intel,” Price breaks the tension of the room, hands bracing on his knees as he looks to the four of you. A grim expression settles on his face when he looks to you. “It’s in the home of one of your Lieutenants.”
Your heart stutters in your chest as you swallow around a dry mouth. “What kind of intel?”
Everyone seems to collectively move in closer – Ghost’s hand rests at his belt, Soap’s at his back pocket, Gaz’s on the chain adorning his neck, a guitar pick attached to the gold.
“Intel on an ‘organisation’,” Price says. “A group of people wanting to overtake the military, one with a rising number of members.”
It’s as if you can feel nothing but the beat of your heart, the sensation of your fingers, the pain in your chest. The organisation. They were. You and Shepherd, you hadn’t eradicated them. Maybe stumped their growth, for a while, but you hadn’t.
You hadn’t realised they were still around. Growing, even, thriving.
The urge to just cry, pour out your emotions and weep is the strongest it’s been since your mother’s funeral. To just pull up the covers over your head and let tears fall down your cheeks, mourn in your misery, scream and claw at your skin and feel.
If only you could be that woman. Just for a day.
Instead, you reply.
“When are we going?”
Soap is, both surprisingly and unsurprisingly, the first one to speak up. His hands land on his hips as he studies you with a narrowed gaze. “Ye need to rest, lass. Yer broken.”
You throw your unwrapped hand in the air, waving in their general direction. “Have you guys seen yourselves? How the fuck you’re out of your gowns is almost crazier than you storming into here gunsablazing!”
“We didn’t get a concussion, a wound on our cheek, a dislocated bloody shoulder,” Ghost challenges, and your hackles rise in turn. When he gives, you return. The moon and the sun – the two of you, always taunting the other with a bone just to see if the other will bite.
“I saved your ass,” you seethe back, and with only a small wince, you pull the IV drip from your arm. If Price or Gaz debate that move, you ignore it. “And his. I don’t seem to recall hearing a single thank you, either.” You rise on shaky legs, pushing through the ache, pushing through the thunderstorm in your chest. You turn to Soap, “So don’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” you turn to Ghost, “And you don’t tell me what injuries deem me weaker! I’ve survived this long without the lot of you, and you don’t need to start babying me now.”
The silence in the room should dispel your nerves, but it only serves to increase them tenfold.
“We’ll scope out the area and decide what to do after. Five days ‘til we perform an undercover mission, I suspect.”
With a small tilt of your head, you look to Price, who rubs at his jaw, scratching at the hair lining it. He looks deep in thought – ever the calculating leader.
You sigh, quiet enough to not be heard. “Thank you, Captain.”
The wrapping around your set shoulder seems recently done, and when you move the ligament in small circles, the pain is nothing more than a dull ache. Your cheek, too, has been bandaged, but the sting is nothing if not prevalent.
Someone had spent the time putting socks on your feet, so you’re grateful for the small mercy as you move to the side table and swallow down mouthfuls of water from the plastic bottle placed there.
A thought comes to mind then.
“Where do I sleep? Or should I, um…” You trail off, because the idea of finding a shoddy motel in the middle of nowhere is definitely not a pleasant one.
Silence.
Slowly turning around, bottle in hand, your brows furrow when you see that none of them are meeting your eyes. Even Ghost, which is most definitely a first.
“Are you banishing me? Worried I have cooties?” You tease, bouncing on the soles of your feet. When no one responds again, you truly start to worry. “That was a joke,” you confirm, as if they didn’t know that.
“There’s no spare rooms,” Gaz blurts out, and your eyes go wide.
Of all the things that had briefly crossed your mind, a lack of space was most certainly not one of them. The consequences of that fact is the next thing to be brought to the forefront of your muddled ideas.
“Right,” Soap nods, as if this is a newly found concept. He gestures to Gaz, a smile creeping onto his face. “Thanks for offering to let ‘er crash with ya, lad.”
“I didn’t say that –” Gaz starts, expression slowly creeping into one of exasperation as Price interrupts with a slap to the Sergeant’s shoulder.
“Real generous, Garrick,” Price commends, moving to stand from his chair and leave the room. Ghost follows closely behind him, shooting a look between you and Kyle, simply saying, “Thanks, Sergeant.”
“You’ve got to be joking,” Gaz groans, head falling against the chair backing as he slides down the wood. Soap is quick to bound away from the room, too, with a cheerful, ‘See you tomorrow!’.
Gaz, eyes squeezed shut, seeming to try and melt into the floor, flutters one eye open to look at you where you stand. He grimaces, before slowly getting to his feet, too.
“Sorry for,” you bite at your lip, looking everywhere but at the man who seems to want to die more than host you, “Being a nuisance. Really, I’m fine sleeping at a motel, or whatever. Seriously.”
His hand grasps your chin, moving it so you’re forced to look up at him, his analysing gaze searching your own. The brown of his eyes glisten in the bright light, his features shining with it, and you’re hit with an overwhelming want to be cherished by this man.
How bad had your concussion really been, to be making you think this way? You should really talk to Sarah about it, ask what kind of side effects came with one.
Oddly enough, you don’t think that this realisation is as sudden as you’re forcing yourself to believe.
“I didn’t,” Gaz begins, quickly looking away and setting his jaw before meeting your eyes once more, “I didn’t mean it like that. Just. Embarrassing, y’know?”
“How? Got a secret collection of pornos you don’t want me finding?” You quip back, a soft tilt to your lips.
He chuckles, a soft, girthy thing, shaking his head. “Nah. Nothin’ like that. Just… havin’ a girl in my room on such short notice is a bit scary. Gonna kill them all when I see ‘em tomorrow,” he mutters the last few words under his breath.
“I really am sorry,” you promise, “I didn’t realise that I’d have to impose on you like this.”
“You’re not imposing,” Gaz says, stern, thumb brushing along your jawline. “My bed should be big enough, anyways.”
Your cheeks heat at the implication, mouth opening and closing around nothing. “Your – Your bed? I can just sleep on the floor –”
“No,” he interrupts, shaking your head side to side softly. “If anything, I’ll crash on the floor if you’re uncomfortable. I won’t let you sleep on anything but my bed.”
“Such a gentleman,” you lean in, whispering the words over his lips, a smirk forming on your face as you pull back. Heading for the door, you miss the way his fingers raise to hover over his mouth, gaze flitting to you before he follows behind.
“Do I need to see Sarah? The only reason I was really in there was ‘cause I was passed out, right?” You ask, turning around as Gaz meets you, opening the door for you to walk through. His hand falls to the small of your back as he directs you down the hallways.
He shakes his head. “Nah, Price messaged ‘er. If your pain starts up again, just take some pain meds or see her.”
“I like the way you run things here,” you hum, looking around at the concrete walls and linoleum floors, barren of personality. “No wasting time or resources.”
A draft carries down the hall, and you find yourself rubbing your arm, biting at your lower lip from the cold. Gaz’s hand wraps around your waist, pulling you into his body heat subtly, and you’re silently grateful. “I’ll give you some of my spare clothes to sleep in,” he says, thumb rubbing against where his hand sits in tight circles.
Your stomach growls, then, and you can hardly find the energy to be embarrassed when you haven’t eaten in four days. Yikes.
“Sorry –”
“I made you. Um.” Gaz looks away, bringing up his other hand to rub at the nape of his neck nervously. “I made you some wraps to eat, because the guys love ‘em, and Price kept getting pulled into meetings. So.”
The smile that pulls at your cheeks burns as you softly say, “Thank you.”
His grip around your waist tightens, the smallest amount.
You don’t comment.
“While you change, I’ll go get them from the fridge,” he says, as the two of you pause outside a standard door. The barracks look the same as every other corridor in this base, you’ve found, three other doors sitting close to this one. The 141’s rooms.
Unlocking the door, he switches on the light, and as you step in, you look around at the small room.
A double bed, narrow but long, sits in the corner next to a small window. Next to it, a wooden bedside table, with photos atop it, and a few random medals and gum wrappers. A single poster is stuck to the wall – and as soon as you see it, a laugh bubbles up in your chest.
“What?” Gaz asks, looking through his chest of drawers, looking to you with flushed cheeks. “It isn’t that bad.”
Your laughs continue, racking your body with each inhale as you point to the poster, eyes watery as you look at the man. “Didn’t realise you were into the Spice Girls, Garrick.”
He shoves his clothes into your face, only making you double over with laughter.
“It was from my mum,” he grumbles, and you grab for his cheeks, squeezing them as your eyes near-shut with the manic laughter bubbling from you.
“Mama’s boy,” you tease, pulling at his cheeks until he’s face level. He huffs, pushing you away with a hand to your jaw, making more giggles erupt from your chest. “It’s cute, Gaz, I’m not being mean, pinky promise.”
“I’m getting the wraps, you twat,” he tries to sound accusatory, but his dimples deepen in his cheeks, his mouth pulling into a stubborn smile as he shoves you onto the bed, slamming the door shut behind him as he goes.
The fondness in your chest aches, and as you pull on his clothes, taking off the medical robe, you realise something. A niggling, in the back of your mind, one you can’t seem to shake as you tie off the oversized grey sweatpants around your waist.
A singular realisation, but a damning one, nonetheless.
Your smile doesn’t fade.

taglist. @lilpothoscuttings @jng-yuan @iruzias @insatiablekittie @1wh4re1nova @kaoyamamegami @supernaturalstilinski @inthemiddle0feverywhere @msecho19 @nogood-boyo @alfa-jor @lalashhyl @letmeapologise @honeybeeznutz @1mawh0re @oreo-cream @lalashhyl @someonepleasedateme @letmeapologise @uhhellnogetoffpleasenowty @inarabee @simp-sentral @littlecellist @clear-your-mind-and-dream @browtfyoudoing @oreo-cream @fanngirl19
#🤍 : forever winter#⌨️ : love's writing#cod mw2#ghost cod#cod x reader#ghost mw2#john soap mactavish#mw2#simon ghost riley#soap cod#tf141#tf141 x reader#john price#kyle gaz garrick#captain price#price x reader#gaz x reader#soap x reader#ghost x reader#gaz garrick#cod#kyle garrick#gaz mw2#gaz cod#soap x ghost#soapghost#call of duty x reader#task force 141#task force 141 x reader#cod smut
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⪩ · · · author's note : indulgent as hell. not proofread. practice fic, i guess? (helpful criticism are appreciated). scent kink and taste kink / (lil) oral fixation. i wrote this in class, i feel a little shy doing that. nsfw nsfw nsfw, you have been warned enough.
smth smth abt the permanence of smelling like acrid gun power, cheap cigarettes, aged liquid spirits that had dribbled down ghost's chin to collarbone, the grimiest element of scorched earth on his leather, war – marred complexion — combined with the thickest masks of layered testosterones, unrelenting yields of musk which were long liberated since the second he stepped afoot into warzones; there is only so much power in the threats of his virility that he is yet to violate upon you.
and yet, on the contrary, you have no idea why but such an odor evokes an emotion so motherly yet so submissively towards the soldier / it feel likes like suffocation of excess praises · yearning — desire — · worship · fidelity that you think he is worth the merit of. just from the fragrance of war — to others, it is repulsive; it is a horror no civilian couldn't fathom to keep on walking on two sturdy war - marbled legs.
but you? you've wept on his skin, the nakedness of your mouth had tasted the rust of ironclad horror he was made to shoulder — it was unpleasant, it was angry, it was tar ... your tongue has stroked places where death almost marked him for the taking; it cared for him in abundance, the kind of sympathy that is natural baptism — yet it never washes away his sins, his sorrows, his sorrows, his hells . . . | but, in your own way, devours it with the feathery softness, tenderness ghost couldn't bear to seek from another soul; his odor embedded in your memory alongside torrid tang that burns your tongue, turns your throat into a greedy furnace.
you are the kind of greed ghost cannot believe that exist in the form of the babiest motherly girl. insatiable, if not just your drive for procreation running amok in the forefront of your mind.
#⪩⠀doebunny⠀rants⠀⪨#will make tags soon#simon riley x y/n#simon riley x yn#simon riley x reader#ghost x y/n#ghost x yn#ghost x reader#cod smut#cod x y/n#cod x yn#cod x reader#ghost smut#simon riley smut#daddy!simon riley x yn#daddy!simon riley x reader#daddy!ghost x y/n#daddy!ghost x yn#daddy!ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x yn#simon ghost riley x y/n#simon ghost riley smut
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Imagine a lonely, peaceful graveyard, somewhere in Midorijima.
Imagine two graves, side by side - one so old and overgrown, so laden with moss and grime and dirt, that you can hardly make out the inscription on it, just barely lost to time. The other - a lot more recent, though itself starting to show signs of wear.
An old man laid next to where his grandmother was buried so long ago, in eternal, peaceful sleep.
Imagine the top of that grave slowly growing moss and grass and little flowers, and there, on top, even slightly embedded into the soil - decrepit, rusting, overgrowing with vegetation - a broken-down, barely-functioning white-haired robot. Sitting still, dull eyes forever locked onto the name on the headstone - Seragaki Aoba.
Imagine a few years prior, Aoba getting older and older. Clear taking care of most of his basic needs now, carrying him when he's too tired, preparing all his meals and cleaning every mess - all with the same energy, enthusiasm, smile as before.
Imagine Aoba's old, shaking hands attempting to perform routine maintenance and check-ups on Clear. Imagine him straining his muscles to the point of pain, injury. Him mishandling tools and messing up the wiring, getting bit by electricity or having his increasingly fragile skin bruised from the force. Clear hiding any malfunctions, any errors in his performance, just to make sure Aoba doesn't try to fix it, doesn't hurt himself on his own stubborn pride.
Imagine Clear chatting with Aoba as he always did, happy and chipper, about the afterlife. Trying to spin it as positively as he can manage - assuring Aoba that he'll get to be with Tae-san, finally, and hey, maybe he'll even meet Clear's own grandpa one day! Imagine Aoba snapping at him to be quiet, rejecting, resenting the idea of an afterlife, fearing it more than desiring it because he knows that if there is such a thing, then he'll have to spend all of eternity without his love. Without Clear. Robots don't die, after all, and even if he stopped functioning there's no afterlife in the wings for an artificial being.
Imagine Clear visiting Aoba's grave for the first time. Crying uncontrollably, kneeling in the dirt, burying his hands into the soil as if to dig him up. Imagine him talking to Aoba through sobs, wishing him good rest, a fair journey. Imagine him never getting up from that spot again. Calming down, eventually, just enough to talk normally. Singing to him. Describing the environment around him, then breaking into sobs again.
Imagine his function gradually slowing down. Without any repairs or help, his body shutting down more and more bits of itself just to keep him from completely breaking. His eyesight, his voice modulation, his cooling system, his processing power. His brain becomes more and more warped and weak until he isn't even fully sure why he's there - all he knows is that he's with Aoba-san. He can't see him, or hear him, or feel him, but he's with Aoba-san, and as long as his voice carries (no matter how much it stutters, no matter how muffled it gets, no matter how garbled) - he'll keep speaking to him. Singing to him. Reaching out to him forever.
What other purpose does he have? What other purpose did he ever?
Now imagine a dog in a propeller hat.
#going insane#clear#clear dmmd#clear dramatical murder#aoba#aoba seragaki#seragaki aoba#aoba dmmd#aoba dramatical murder#aoba seragaki dmmd#aoba seragaki dramatical murder#cleao#aocle#clear x aoba#aoba x clear#cleao dmmd#cleao dramatical murder#dramatical murder#dmmd#angst
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EXPLICIT CONTENT • MINORS DNI
Sub!Art the Clown x Dom!Reader • trigger warning: this one’s NASTY, folks. There’s no sugar-coating Art’s grossness; he stinks, he’s got human flesh in his teeth, etc. be forewarned. There’s mentions of piss, Art killing/consuming people, blood and vomit. Femdom, use of a sex toy, pegging, squirting
The pattern is the same every time, and tonight is no exception. Art bursts through the doorway of the home you share, covered in someone else’s blood. He reeks of sweat, dirt, and piss. Blood stains Art’s costume red, caking the fabric to his skin in the most heavily-saturated areas.
It’s obvious that Art is in pain. There was most definitely a struggle earlier tonight. Whoever Art killed, whatever their names were, at least one of them had put up a considerable fight. Likely the last one, since Art is visibly injured. He couldn’t dominate anyone at the moment, and that’s your cue. When Art is at his most vulnerable, he needs YOU to be the opposite. After expending his energy terrorizing, maiming and killing, Art needs to release the burden of power. He needs to submit…to be used. And you know exactly how to supply that release…
The stench of fresh blood fills your nostrils as Art approaches. His usual wide, sharp grin is absent when he looks at you. The wordless exchange between you passes briefly, a silent acknowledgement of what’s about to happen. You turn away from Art to go retrieve something very important. He goes down to his knees unsteadily, silently cursing the pain that racks every inch of his body. You return a moment later and stand over Art where he kneels. The shadow of your cock, a strapless dildo inserted inside your vagina, casts over Art’s painted-white face. You wrap your hand around the cock’s base and without needing instruction, Art opens his mouth to accept you.
You tap the head of your cock against Art’s lower lip, tugging it downward slightly. His bottom row of teeth are revealed, clotted blood and bits of human flesh embedded between them. He extends his tongue, flattening it along the underside of your cock. You place your hand on top of Art’s head, holding him in place while you press the dildo between his lips. He closes his eyes, which earns him a slap on the cheek. “Look at me,” you demand, and Art obeys. Bobbing his head up and down your cock, he maintains eye contact with you. The base of the dildo rubs against your g-spot with every thrust. Art gags when you go too deep; you pull out as a gush of rust-colored vomit lurches up his throat and onto the floor. “Clean it up,” you tell Art, watching as like a well-trained dog, he laps up the wet mess he made at your feet.
“Turn around,” you instruct when he finishes. Going down to one knee, you position yourself behind Art. The zipper in the crotch of his costume is well-concealed, but you know exactly where it is. Reaching between his legs from behind, you find the zipper and tug it towards you. Art’s erection pops out from the confines of the costume, pointing toward the ground, stiff and pulsing when your hand brushes it by accident. You have enough of an opening now in Art’s costume to enter him from behind. He’s on all fours in front of you, where you’re knelt at his back. Blood drips from the front of his costume to the floor. You collect some of the blood on the head of your dildo as it drips. Dragging your cock between Art’s cheeks, you smear his hole with the blood of his victims, using it as lube while pressing past the barrier of his tight hole.
Art groans as the pressure of your strap spreads him open. You spit on the shaft while watching it disappear inside Art’s ass. He lowers his head to the floor, arching his back to allow you deeper. Each of your thrusts rubs the internal part of the dildo against the snug curves of your cunt, edging you closer. Art’s sadistic grin has returned to his face, his cheek resting against the floor. You pound his ass chasing your own climax, bringing Art’s first by accident. He ejaculates into the crotch of his clown costume, adding semen to the list of other liquids already soaking it. You come soon after, your vaginal muscles contracting around the dildo. A combination of piss and cum gush out of you, dripping down Art’s ass where your hips are pressed.
You pull out of him and wipe the dildo clean with a cloth, before removing it from your vagina. Art reaches for you and squeezes your hand to get your attention. His sated expression tells you the dark mood he came home with has faded. Art doesn’t need to say it; you already know he cares for you deeply, at least as deeply as someone like him can. However long this lasts with Art, you’ll be here, happy to fill whatever void he needs you to fill. Because as sick as it is, no one understands you the way he does. And while Art may be evil to his very core, his friendship with you is the one thing that makes him feel good…
#art the clown#terrifier#horror#movies#art the clown terrifier#art the clown x reader#art the clown x you#art the clown smut#art the clown x y/n#terrifier movie#terrifier smut#slashers smut#slashers#slasher x reader#slasher x you#slasher smut#x you#x reader#x y/n#x fem reader#fanfic#fanfiction
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